#and yet i still have to deal with everyone telling me to stay strong and just focus all my energy to supporting others

[crittertalez]

everythings making me sick right now. all the posts i see are about staying positive keeping hopeful staying strong constant reminders other people are doing worse right now you need to stay strong for them anyone who is crying and upset right now is a white liberal blaming other people stay hopeful stay positive stay strong stay strong stay strong stay strong stay strong stay strong if you cry remember someone else is doing worse someone else is dying or losing someone or something and its like jesus fucking christ

im a black woman in a red state and ive been staying strong this whole time staying hopeful staying optimistic for the sake of everyone around me and today it feels like i woke up to a death sentence. one of the most fascist bigoted men in the world right now won against a black woman in a country where neo-fascism has been on the rise and all the people i care about have either already lacked rights or been in danger of losing them. and yet i still have to Stay Strong because crying about how your life could suddenly end in the next 4 years is a white thing to do. give me a break

[himbosandhardwear]

Steddie I Different First Meeting I NSFW I Public Indecency I 2.8k words

He's planted. Call him The White Tree of Gondor, he's so planted. Nothing and no one could move him from this spot.

He's going to have perfect line of sight to center stage, as long as no one over 6’3” stands in front of him. He's got his good boots on, giving him a solid three inch lift.

Some people come and go, not as dedicated to keeping their spot. Not Eddie. He's planted.

“You think he moved back?” Some chick yells behind him.

“Doubt it,” her companion yells back, “the point was to get closer.”

“Well I don't know if I can deal with closer. It's only going to get worse when the band goes on, and I'm at my limit for men touching me today.”

“I'm pretty sure there's beer in my hair.”

“A fate worse than death,” she mocks him, making Eddie chuckle. “You wanna bail? He can come find us after.”

“I don't know, Rob, he's just a kid. What if he gets scared?”

“Oh my god, he's sixteen.”

“He's short!” The guy yells shrilly, practically in Eddie's ear. “No way he can see over top everyone's head.”

“Okay, then you stay, dingus. I'm going to go pay $12 for a bottle of water. Come find me after.”

“Rob! C'mon, don't- Rob! Ah shit.”

Eddie almost turns to give the guy some reassurance but he can't, making friends in the crowd is how you end up getting pulled into another direction. He can't chance it. He's planted.

Not to mention his friend was right, the more time that passes, the more packed in they become. Once or twice the guy behind him gets jostled into Eddie's back, mumbling apologies each time. Eddie doesn't bother to reply.

He's determined to ignore the guy until suddenly they're pressed front to back, shoulder to calf, the guys massive hands wrapping solidly around Eddie's waist so they don't fall down, and he's fucked. Suddenly the guy behind him is all he's thinking about.

Of course this turn of events sends the poor guy into apology overdrive, hands ripped back immediately as he stutters his excuses.

Eddie waves it off, still not turning away from the front, but the urge is strong. He kind of needs to see if the guy is as hot as that ten second press against him would suggest. Christ on a bike, he even smells good. At least Eddie is pretty sure that's him, the pine/sugar/sweat combo.

A glance at his watch tells him they've got maybe another ten minutes until the show starts. Five minutes ago that would've been all he would've cared about but now he's got Hot Boy Brain Rot and can't focus.

Which is why the next time they get pushed together, Eddie does absolutely nothing to help correct, he lets the guy pull him back and very nearly fall flat on their asses. The only reason they don't is because they fall into the people pressing forward.

“I swear to god, I'm not doing this on purpose,” the guy says with a chuckle that warms Eddie’s already sweaty skin. He hasn't let go yet, his enormous hands hold Eddie upright, skin on skin where his shirt has been cropped.

He's lost his mind completely, because he puts his own hands on the ones circling his waist and squeeze, a soft acceptance of their predicament. It could mean nothing if the guy is straight - maybe, probably, he's not good at judging that sort of thing - but if the hot guy standing behind him is in any way interested, he'll understand.

And praise Dale, raise hell, he does! Long fingers tighten, slide, tighten, before letting go again. He's pretty sure the guy just stuck his thumbs into the indents at the top of his ass too.

Which is when he realizes there's a not zero percent chance the guy thinks Eddie is a girl.

He forgot he's wearing a kilt, which idiots seem to think is a skirt 70% of the time he has it on. Combining that with his hair being down and the fact that he hasn't turned around at all… Fuck.

You're 6’2” right now. Maybe that's enough of a hint. Or your hairy legs? No, it's way too dark to see that far down, no way he-

Eddie squeaks as the guy runs a finger tip along the edge of the kilt. Luckily, it's too loud for the sound to travel, that would've been devastating.

The guy leans forward and whisper/yells, “Is this okay?” into his ear.

Eddie nods, takes a miniscule step back, bringing himself closer. He's gonna take this as far as he can before they either get kicked out for indecent acts or the guy realizes what he's doing and bashes Eddie for ‘tricking him.’ The smart thing to do would be to fucking turn around and confirm his stupid gender but… it's nice feeling wanted for a moment. Nice enough for whatever the consequences are.

An arm snakes around his middle, a fucking nice arm, all sinewy and freckled and brown, causing a surge of giddiness. They're pressed together again, this time on purpose. The guy seems to instinctively know Eddie has this spot picked out because he doesn't let anyone push them or get between. He does, however, laugh every time they get jostled closer together. It's infectious too, makes him smile along every time he hears that giggle. If the guy doesn't stop being adorable soon, Eddie is gonna fall in love.

Whoops. Too late. There's an enormous cock pressed up against his ass; any semblance of control or ability to play it cool goes right out the window.

He's never been more proud of himself for taking up street hockey with Jeff and his cousins than this moment. Some asshole had said to him, years ago now, ‘No one wants a bottom with a flat ass,’ and Eddie let that settle into a deep seated neurosis that pushed him into sports. Casual sports, that actually turned out to be pretty fun, but still…

Anyway, he's got an ass worth pushing against now, which is doing fantastic things for the whole ‘accidently luring a stranger into simulating sex acts at a concert' thing he's got going on.

Good god are they playing with fire right now. Yeah everyone is distracted by the drum tech setting up but it's not like they're invisible here. The guy to Eddie's left is just as close as the one rubbing off against his ass, if he glances down he's gonna see what they're doing. That thought only brings Eddie closer to finishing, untouched, in his underwear. His own erection is being held down by his boxer briefs, which are always a good choice when wearing a kilt. Shit happens in the pit, he's never been keen on flashing his bare ass to everyone if he takes a header.

He's snaking a hand down, trying to be subtle, but he needs to squeeze his dick or he's going to start crying.

His new friend must catch the movement because his right hand follows the trajectory, sliding right along with Eddie’s, until they're both stalled out, cuping his hip instead of his erection. Eddie thinks about passing out, he's so turned on and terrified. Either the guy knows he's about to touch a human penis or he's about to get an unwelcome surprise.

Before Eddie's heart can explode and kill him, three things happen rapid fire:

The lights go completely dark, signifying the start of the show, which makes the already packed stadium lose its collective shit.

Then there's a call from behind, the dreaded, “Heads up!” Eddie only just manages not to burst into tears as his one true love has to let go to support the weight of the asshole crowd surfing above them. He makes sure to pinch the fucker as he takes the weight of his stupid leg as it goes by.

Then, immediately after, there's another crowd surge as the first lick of Blackened rings out around them. Adrenaline pumps through Eddie like a lava flow, two desires waring within him making it impossible to choose. Does he turn to find the man of his dreams or does he stay the course and watch the greatest metal show of all time?

Considering this is the third time he's seen Metallica live, he turns around.

He's gone. The only people behind him now are two chicks with their tits painted white and gold and a middle aged biker.

Awesome.

He keeps looking but no one near fits the right description, not even close. Why the fuck didn't he turn around and just look at the guy? At least then he'd know who to look for after the show.

It's not like his night is completely ruined or anything. He jumps in the closest pit and takes his disappointment on the poor bastards unlucky enough to crash into him, and he has a splendid time with that. It wasn't his original plan, he wanted to stay center stage and actually watch the show this time, but he's too keyed up to stand still now, better to shove his fellow man and get elbowed for his troubles.

By the time James is wailing out the final insane notes of Battery, Eddie is thoroughly beat. It's a slog getting to the back of the stadium but he's determined to beat the crowd to the pissers. The night was fun and all but he's ready to go. Ready to stick his hand down his pants(kilt), relive the oddest and hottest encounter he's ever experienced, and then forget it ever happened.

He's made it as far as the merch line when a familiar voice yells his name. He looks back and sure enough, Dustin Henderson is waving at him like a semaphore code operator. Goofy ass kid, Eddie loves him to death.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He asks after giving him a back slapping hug.

“Surprise early birthday gift, I didn't know until yesterday or I would've told you.” His whole body is thrumming with excitement. It must be his first metal show. You wouldn't know it to look at him, he's got a whole mini-Eddie thing happening, which is adorable.

“That's awesome, dude. You didn't want to stay till the end?”

“I already saw their setlist and calculated the timing just right to get in line before the crowd let out.” Of course he did. “What about you? Taking off?”

“Yeah, I've had…a weird night. Good but weird.”

“You wanna ditch in line? Looks like they still have plenty of T-shirts available.”

He laughs. “Nah, thanks though. I'm just gonna head home. I'll see you Saturday?”

“Totally, wouldn't miss it-”

“There you are! Jesus, Henderson, I thought I lost you. Your mom would kill me if something-”

The guy finally stops bitching but only because he's staring at Eddie like he's seen a ghost.

“Uhh,” Eddie drawls, confused.

“Steve! This is Eddie! You know, from Hellfire, at Tech.”

It would be appropriate for them to shake hands, he thinks, but the guy is just staring at him, going more and more red as the seconds pass. It's a good thing he's pretty because his social skills could use some work.

“Hey dingus, did the beer in your hair finally soak into your brain.” The woman standing to Steve's left knocks on his forehead with a knuckle, making him flinch.

“You guys okay?”

Eddie is too busy being strapped into a roller coaster of emotion to respond to Henderson’s quiry. It can't be this easy, fate has never been this kind or cruel to Eddie, not at the same time. His dream man can't be Dustin's babysitter/big brother Steve. That guy drives a BMW and listens to Supertramp, which he only knows because he followed Dustin out to the parking lot one night. Except, Steve is gorgeous and fun and a good dude who worries about his kids, and is smoking hot.

He knows Steve knows he knows now, his own face has gone beet red, and they're just staring at each other, like some kind of gorgon in a bathroom mirror situation.

“What is this? Why are you being weird?” Steve's girlfriend - Rob? - asks. “Wait, oh my god, is Dustin’s other dad, your imagined arch nemesis, the Guy in the Crowd? Holy shit, he totally is, what are the fucking odds!” She cackles.

Wait. He told her about that? And he knew I'm a guy? And he thought we were nemesis? That's so hot.

Dustin is going on about Steve's apparent low self esteem and how Steve needn't worry about his loyalty and how he loves them both equally, which is sweet, but he and Steve are still just staring at each other.

“I know a good diner around here,” he blurts out when Dustin finally shuts up. “They have all you can eat pancakes.”

Steve's eyes do something devastating, adjacent to cows touching grass for the first time. “I like pancakes.”

“Let's get pancakes.”

“Okay.”

They start walking away, dazed, until Dustin reminds them of his presence, loudly and with much insult. “Steve! You drove us here!”

“Shit.” He turns back. “Right. Sorry. C'mon, we're getting pancakes.”

Dustin looks to Rob, as if to say, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ She replies back with a sort of ‘I don't get paid enough to explain this to children’ and ‘I know, he's hopeless but we love him’ both kinda look.

“What?” Steve asks.

“I'm still in line, dude. I want a T-shirt.”

“But-”

“No buts!” Dustin screeches. “Pancakes can wait!”

Eddie wishes they would figure it out soon, he still has to piss.

Rob, bless her, she's Eddie's new best friend, takes Dustin under her arm and asks Eddie, “Where's the diner?”

“25th and Dudley Ave. Called Roxy's.”

“Got it. Go on, I'll bring your son after he's got his stupid shirt.”

Dustin is the epitome of disbelief. “What! No! Guys, don't leave me with Robin!” He yells, to which Robin responds by putting him in a headlock.

“Go! Run before he figures out what's going on.”

Steve doesn't need to be told twice, apparently, he grabs Eddie's wrist and yanks him toward the exit doors. It’s exciting, running away with Steve, even though they’re only running from Dustin. Still, it leaves them both breathless by the time they get to the end of the block, both laughing about how ridiculous it all is.

“God. Haven't run like that since…well the last time the cops were after me.”

Steve just grins, hands on his knees, looking like a former athlete, all deep breaths and physical therapy style stretching. Fucking hot jocks, ugh.

Eddie wants to mount him.

Which brings them up to the awkward part: acknowledging what happened.

Steve braves it first. “Hey, I, uh, I don't want you to think I go around doing shit like that.”

Eddie, ever the opportunistic asshole, says, “Shit like what?” When Steve's face falls to horror, perfectly timed, and Eddie loses it. “I'm kidding, sorry, I'm just fucking with you. It was definitely me.”

“Dick,” Steve says but he's laughing.

“Yeah, that's me.” They sort of instinctively move away from the street, closer to the less busy side storefronts. “In the interest of honesty, I should tell you, I wasn't entirely sure you knew I wasn't a girl, that's why I sort of hesitated right there at the end, before we got separated.”

Steve looks baffled. “Huh?”

“You know.” He waves at himself. “From the back I could be a tall chick. Cause of the kilt and the hair and everything.”

He shakes his head. “Dude, I saw you from like four rows back. Why do you think I stopped where I did?”

Fuck. Okay. That's…awesome. He jams a whole fistful of hair against his face.

“Also, even if you had turned out to be a tall chick, not a deal breaker. You're fucking hot either way.”

“Okay, Romeo, cool it with the compliments before I make you finish what you started right here.”

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, that smirk should be illegal.

“Right here against the jewelry shop window? I'm not opposed.” Eddie very seriously considers the pros and cons of that but before he finishes, Steve laughs. “Better not. I was promised pancakes. And Lord have mercy if Rob and Henderson get there before we do.”

He's right. God dammit.

“Fine but for the record, which I feel goes without saying, I do put out on the first date.”

Steve laughs. “Never would've guessed.”

By the time they get to Roxy's, Steve has his arm around Eddie's waist, pinkie tucked deep into his kilt.

[solar-wing]

⚣ Disobey 😠

⚣😠 A/N → i... don't ask. just..don't. I'm so ashamed. WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI | Rough Anal | Orgasm Denial | Controlling Behavior | Dom/Sub Vibes |

⚣😠 Summary → Conner has had enough of Y/N disobeying him.

⚣😠 Words → 1.3K

REBLOGS & replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛

⚣ ENJOY 😠

"a-ah, fuck ... ! Please let me cum!"

Conner pressed the young mage harder against the wall, laying another hard smack on his bottom while thrusting in and out of his quivering hole. He also held a tight grip on the boy's throbbing and red cock, squeezing at the base whenever he could tell the boy was about to cum.

The Kryptonian grunted in his ear while increasing the intensity of his thrusts, "Don't tell me what to do. I'm not ready for you to cum yet, got it? You're going to learn how to follow orders," He delivered an extra hard push with that sentence while squeezing down again on the poor boy's whimpering dick, pulling a needy whine from him.

Earlier that day, Batman briefed the team on a mission where they were to recover a powerful magical relic from some ancient ruins before a group of cultists found it and delivered it to their leader. When they arrived, the group split off into pairs to find the relic faster, Superboy ordered Y/N to come with him, even though some felt it'd be better if he and Zatanna went together.

Superboy instructed the young mage to stay close to him at all times and not wander off, sensing the place would have various booby traps. As they were looking through the ruins, Y/N got curious and wandered off to look at some interesting-looking markings on the walls, accidentally activating the magical defenses.

Thankfully, the spell to nullify it was simple enough. But it didn't make the Kryptonian any less angry with him.

Then, when they eventually ran into the cultists who had found the relic, Superboy instructed Y/N to run and grab help while he held them off. Of course, that wasn't the smartest idea since he was more vulnerable to magic attacks than the mage.

Y/N didn't listen though and had engaged the cultists himself, Superboy's anger doubling at the mage's disobedience. They were able to hold them off long enough for the rest of the team to show up and fight together.

Y/N managed to steal the relic back from the cult and the team successfully defeated them with only a few of the cultists getting away. Everyone congratulated the young mage for his quick thinking, but Superboy was still furious with him.

When they returned to the Cave, Conner roughly pulled the boy aside to his room before slamming and locking the door, proceeding to scold the young mage. The Kryptonian yelled at him for not listening to him and putting himself in danger, calling the boy reckless and irresponsible.

Y/N didn't take well to that and argued back, defending himself, turning it into a full-blown argument until the two were in each other's faces.

"You need to learn some fucking respect. You may be strong, but you're still new. I've been a part of this team from the start and have more experience than you, so you need to learn to listen to me." Conner growled, getting in the boy's face.

"I'm not a child! I can take care of myself, thank you very much. And last I checked, you aren't the leader of this team, Kaldur is, so back off. I don't have to listen to you and I don't need you to protect me." Y/N growled back, before shoving his way past the Kryptonian towards the door.

He didn't make it far though before Conner grabbed his arm and yanked him back, pinning him to the bed, "Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm leaving, I don't need to deal with this right now," Y/N said, struggling against the Kryptonian's hold.

Conner growled in his ear, "You're not going anywhere. I'm not done with you yet."

"Oh, fuck you, Superboy." Y/N snapped, glaring daggers at the Kryptonian.

Conner glared back before suddenly crushing his lips against Y/N's, forcing his tongue into his mouth. Y/N struggled and fought against the Kryptonian's hold, but couldn't break free from his grip. Conner pulled away and smirked at the mage, "You're going to learn how to listen to me, whether you like it or not."

That's how Y/N found himself currently pinned against the wall, his ass in the air with the Kryptonian's cock thrusting into him.

Conner continued to slam his hips forward, making sure to graze over the young hero's prostate every time. The squelching of his wet cock, the loud slapping of their skin, and the grunting from both of them filled the room.

The young hero could only take the pounding, his legs were starting to feel like jelly and he was sure he would've fallen by now if the Kryptonian wasn't holding him up.

"please ... I’ll beg for it, do whatever you want for it ... please ... " Y/N cried out, tears starting to form in his eyes.

Conner smirked and leaned forward, "I'm not ready for you to cum just yet."

"Please! I've learned my lesson, I promise! I'll do anything, please just let me cum!" Y/N begged, his voice cracking.

"Anything, huh? I don't believe you" Conner said, his hips not faltering in their thrusts.

"Please, I promise! I'll do whatever you ask, I'll listen to your every command, I'll never go against your word, just please let me cum!" Y/N sobbed, his cock was so hard and red, he needed release.

"Fine, but you're going to cum untouched, and you're going to take all of my cum inside you, got it?" Conner growled in the boy's ear, releasing the boy's cock and placing both hands under his ass, his thrusts becoming more erratic.

"I'm going to fill you up so much, you'll be leaking my cum for days. And if you ever disobey me again, I'll punish you even harder, understand?" Conner said, his tone stern and threatening., pressing their fronts together while burying his face into the smaller male's neck, his teeth scraping his skin.

"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! I promise to be good from now on!" Y/N moaned, feeling the Kryptonian's thrusts become more powerful and the heat inside him build.

"Fuck, you're such a good boy for me, aren't you? My perfect little boy," Conner praised, licking a stripe up the boy's neck, "I'm so close, I'm going to fill you up so much, gonna fill you to the brim..."

"Please, please, please..." Y/N pleaded, his breath ragged and short as his cock dripped pre-cum, he was so close.

Conner suddenly grabbed his cock, squeezing it again, pushing down the boy's release.

"AH a-ah, fuck ...no, please !" The boy cried out from the overstimulating pain, punching his fists against the Kryptonian's sweaty back.

Conner chuckled darkly, his hand moving to stroke the boy's throbbing cock, speeding up his thrusts, hitting his prostate dead-on every time.

"Cum for me, baby."

The young hero screamed out, his body spasming as his release finally hit him, his cock spurting thick white ropes of cum all over the Kryptonian's hand and abs. Conner grunted as he continued his relentless thrusting, his balls tightening as his release came crashing down.

With one final thrust, the Kryptonian buried his cock deep inside the boy, shooting thick loads of hot cum inside him.

The two boys panted heavily, their bodies glistening with sweat as they tried to catch their breaths. Conner leaned up, using one hand to tilt the boy's head up before placing a final rough kiss against his lips.

"Hopefully this teaches you a lesson. Don't ever disobey me again." Conner said, pulling his cock out, his cum leaking out of the boy's hole and down his thighs.

Y/N whimpered from the emptiness, slowly letting his legs down to the ground before they were roughly pulled back up.

"Where do you think you're going? We're not done here, not by a long shot. You're staying here and we're going to have some more fun," Conner growled in the boy's ear, pulling his cum-covered hand up to his lips, "Now clean my hand, you made quite a mess."

Y/N obeyed, his tongue running across the Kryptonian's hand, licking off all the cum.

"Good boy. Now, on your knees."

The young hero knew he was in for a long night.

☀️ | Conner Kent/Superboy | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

[lucy90712]

Not enough- Jude Bellingham

Dating a footballer is fun until he becomes incredibly successful and all of a sudden there are rumours left and right of him dating someone that isn't you. That's what my life is like Jude and I got together 3 years ago now when we were 17 and have been together since but we never made our relationship public because until the summer we were still long distance and didn't want the extra pressure. Having our relationship private has been so nice as it has meant when we do see each other we get to just enjoy being together but it also means we have to deal with rumours of who Jude might be dating. Those rumours never really got to me while Jude was at dortmund but since he's moved to Madrid things have just got so much more intense it seems that every few weeks there is a million new articles and tweets. 

Having to read all of this and seeing how pretty all the girls has really started to get to me. All the girls Jude is rumoured to be with are either models or just incredibly pretty which makes me feel awful about myself. All these girls have made a name for themselves in some way yet here I am with my job in a cafe while I try and find a job in the area that I studied. Jude likes to tell me that he doesn't care what I do for a living or how much I make but I can't help but feel guilty when I can't contribute much to the house or get him expensive things like he does for me. I'm also definitely no model I'm definitely not as pretty or as skinny as a model which I used to be ok with but now I don't feel so confident in myself. The other wags are also so pretty I definitely don't fit in with them either which makes me feel even worse about myself. 

Jude doesn't seem to have any clue that this is all going on he wakes up goes to training then hangs out with the boys leaving me until late at night so he doesn't see all the rumours or how they affect me. He's not here for the time I spend scrolling through social media or looking in the mirror judging everything about myself. Even when Jude is home he always seems to have something else on his mind so he never really gives me compliments anymore. I'd like to think that he still loves me but at this point I'm really not sure I mean he's young and he's attractive why would he want to be tied down with someone like me he can do so much better. I simply don't think I'm enough for him. 

A few days ago Jude went out to celebrate a big win for the team while I stayed at home but the next morning all I could see was rumours that Jude was flirting with multiple girls all night letting them dance with him and since I haven't really spoken to him. I spent all of last night laying awake thinking about everything and I decided that I just think I need to break up with Jude so then he's free to do all the things everyone thinks he's doing anyway. It's hard to decide to end a relationship especially one that has been going on for so long and one you are so fond of but I don't see any other way forward. This is why I've been so distant with Jude because in my head if I didn't talk to him that would make all of this easier. 

As always Jude left for training just as I got up for work but by the time I got back he was home which only happened the first few weeks I arrived so it was strange to see him here. Like always I headed upstairs to shower and change and when I came back out the bathroom Jude was sat on the bed waiting for me. I still didn't say anything to him because I'm trying to stay strong until I find the right time to tell Jude how I feel. 

"Babe are you ok you've barely spoken to me the last few days" he said 

"Yeah I'm fine just been busy had a lot on my mind that's all" I replied 

"Please don't lie to me I know there's something more going on I see the way you look all the time I just couldn't figure out what was wrong and now I give up so please tell me what's going on" he begged 

"I didn't want to say this yet because I'm still figuring things out but I think we should break up I just can't do this anymore" I said 

"Please no baby no I can't live without you whatever I've done I can fix it and I'm sorry just please don't break up with me" he said 

"It's nothing you've done it's just me" I said 

"Then what is it please tell me if you really want to do this at least tell me why" he said 

"I'm just not good enough for you every day there is new rumours of you being with someone else and all of them are prettier and have more going for them than I do and you deserve to be with one of them or to just be free to do what you want" I explained 

"But I want you that's what I want I don't want any of these girls nor is there anything going on with any other girl incase that's what you're thinking I like that you live a more normal life you keep me grounded and I think you are the prettiest girl in the world" Jude replied 

"Then why are you never home and why do you never compliment me anymore?" I asked 

"I-I'm sorry babe you're right I haven't been home much but I will change that I will come home after training and I will invite you to more things and believe me I could sit here for hours and compliment you and I'll do that if I need to" he said 

Jude did exactly what he said he started listing all the things he loves about me while giving me kisses. It felt so good to have his attention again it felt like we were back to how we were before I came to Madrid. After he complimented every single part of me he asked if I'd like to go out on a date like a proper date outside where people could see us and I didn't hesitate to say yes. Even if people see us who cares it's about time that we went public with our relationship then the rumours can be true for once. We have talked about going public a few times but now feels like the right time just so we can stop the media getting too far out of control 

I got all dressed up in a pretty dress and my makeup and hair all done for once I actually felt really pretty. When Jude walked in he had a white shirt and some black trousers on which he looked so good in. He stopped as soon as he saw me and I think his jaw actually hit the floor which made me blush and that was before he started complimenting me. The entire drive Jude didn't stop telling me how beautiful I looked which honestly made me feel so good about myself. 

At the restaurant there was people taking pictures of us walking in which Jude tried to protect me from a bit but we wanted to be seen together. It was weird being in front of so many cameras as I've spent years trying to avoid all of this but now I'm happily letting them all take pictures and stare at me trying to work out who I am so they can get their exclusive headline. The people in the restaurant were lovely though they showed us to our table then left us alone as much as possible which was nice as we were able to have a proper date night together. As we finished dessert Jude showed me all the pictures all over Instagram and Twitter then he showed me a post he had drafted to tell everyone about our relationship and put an end to everything. He had a beautiful caption written which nearly made me cry and all the pictures he had I hadn't seen before as they were ones he took secretly but they were all so cute. He let me click post so that it was my decision to go public then he took my phone and turned it off so we could enjoy the rest of our evening together without having to see what everyone has to say.

[spid3namy]

— COMFORT

pairing : e!42 miles x mixed!female reader

summary : miles had a bad day so you comfort him in the best ways you know how

contains : angst , fluff , cussing , head kisses

word count : 867

notes : i was just like bored and just thinking cus ya know, why not? i thought of this and felt like it was good so then this was made 😍 

Miles wasn’t one to make a big deal out of something that was so small.

He wasn’t one to talk about his feelings. And he definitely is not the type to cry in front of anyone. So why did he break so easily around you? Why was it that every time you asked him something, he would tell you? Maybe it was because he knew how worried you got. 

Either way, he hated the power you held over him. He hated how easy it was for you to see past his tough exterior. 

He was so hard to read in the eyes of everyone else. But not you. You always knew how to tell if he was upset over something. It made him feel weak. He was your boyfriend, he was so supposed to be strong for you. Yet, he was weak and he knew you knew it. It sucked.

~

“Hey, boo. Snap out of it”

Your fingers snapping in front of his face is what caused Miles to pull himself out of his thoughts. He blinked and looked over at you, a faint smile on his face as he looked at you. He didn’t know what happened. All he knew is that he was apparently crying. 

“What’s wrong, Miles?”

Miles shook his head and wiped at his eyes, feeling that crushing feeling in his chest again. This happened a lot. That vulnerable feeling caused this weird crushing feeling to fill up his chest. 

He hated it.

You give him a look. One he knew very well. Miles merely shrugged and moved his attention away from you. Miles stared at everything but you. He knew you were gonna get the truth eventually. You always did.

“Miles, love.. Look at me”

You gently grab his chin and turn his head towards you, pretty much forcing him to look at you. Miles looked at you with sad eyes, there was clearly something wrong.

“Bad day?”

Miles merely nodded and averted his eyes away from yours. You hum and soon let go of his chin before you move closer to him on the couch, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. 

“That’s okay..”

Miles allowed his shoulders to slump and his eyes to stay away from you. He was less tense than earlier. That was a good sign at least. He still wasn’t talking though but you already knew he just needed some time before he spoke to you. 

“It hurts, ma..”

Miles’ voice is low and soft, the sound causing your heart to ache. You nod your head and hum lightly, your fingers playing with the ends of his braids gently. You two sit in silence for what seems like forever. And it did feel like forever. 

“You put too much pressure on yourself, boo.”

Miles shook his head at your words and let out a sigh, his eyes staring down at his hands. And before he knew it, his eyes were welling up with tears and he was crying. Why was he crying? He had no idea. All he knew was that the tears were running down his face and he couldn’t stop them.

You pulled him closer and allowed your arms to wrap around his frame, rubbing his back gently as he sobbed onto your shoulder. You didn’t care how wet your shirt was getting or all the snot that was definitely gonna be on your shirt, you were too focused on him. And how much you wanted Miles to be okay. 

“I ... I fuckin’ hate how you make me feel, ma.”

“How do I make you feel?”

“You make me feel so fuckin’ weak all the damn time.”

You merely hum in response, not even fazed by his words. It wasn’t like you really could change that. It was just impossible for you to change how he felt so you would just have to deal with it. Not that you really thought it was a bad thing. 

Miles continued to cry on your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your waist and holding you tightly. It was almost like he was scared that you were gonna disappear if he let go of you. And he didn’t want that to happen. 

“Shh.. it’s okay, my love. You’re okay..”

Miles broke at the sound of your voice, a choked out sob coming from him and his gripping tightening on your slightly. He could feel his body shake when you pressed a kiss onto his forehead. 

He didn’t understand why he was crying so hard but he did know that he was happy that you were allowing him to cry on your shoulder like this. His tears and snot were soaking your shirt but you didn’t seem to care, something he found very sweet. 

He knew being vulnerable with you wasn’t really a bad thing. He hated being weak in front of you though. Hated how it made him feel. Hated how he thought that you would hate him when you see him being vulnerable. 

But now, in this moment, he didn’t care. He felt safe enough with you to cry all his stress out in front of you and he was thankful that you made him feel so damn safe.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Comparing you to their Ex girlfriend

Kiyoomi Sakusa x Fem! reader; Atsumu Miya x Fem! Reader

Warnings: toxic behavior, swearing, Sakusa and Atsumu being big ole jerks, mention of ex’s, angst to comfort

AN: because I enjoy pain : D

Sakusa

Dating life had been pretty dull before you met MSBY’s famed spiker, Kiyoomi Sakusa. It had taken awhile to get to know him. He was a guarded and rather brass individual, not talking much to anyone outside his small circle. However after weeks of trying and being rejected, you finally were able to break thought his defensive walls. He had finally given you a chance.

Now, almost a year later, you and Kiyoomi had a well established routine. It had taken a while to figure out each other quirks, but soon you were able to function as one unit, living your lives both independently and cohesively.

However, one thing you struggled continuously to get use to was Kiyoomi’s high standards of cleanliness. No matter how hard you tried, you never were able to keep up. You knew it was a big reason why Kiyoomi and you hadn’t taken the next step in your relationship, why you hadn’t yet moved in together. It was often a topic of discussion and many times arguments. Your disagreement’s were never fully settled as you both always managed to run out of steam, knowing this was an issue that wouldn’t be quickly resolved.

You tried you hardest, watching his routine and replicating it as best as you could but it was still never enough for him. Despite all this, you loved and adored Kiyoomi and wanted nothing more than the spend the rest of your life with him.

One night, you were sitting on his couch while you watched a movie. He had been at practice all day and you had just gotten off of work. You spent most of you time at his place, knowing perfectly well that he preferred it. While it was inconvenient at times, you kept clothes and the essentials at his place to make mornings and weekends a little easier.

“They are redoing carpeting in the hallway this week,” Kiyoomi spoke as you looked at him. You knew he had been hoping management would upgrade for a while now so you were thrilled.

“I’m glad! I know you’ve wanted this for a while. You always complain about the stains and stuff so it’s good that they are finally taking notice,” you said as he hummed in agreement.

“Yeah but I’ll have to stay in a hotel for a few days because I won’t be able to have access to my apartment so that kind of sucks.”

You didn’t see this as an inconvenience but rather as an opportunity. You had been waiting to show Kiyoomi how you’ve improved your cleaning skills and you were certain that they were beyond up to his standards.

“You know, you could just stay with me?” You spoke as Kiyoomi looked at you, smiling and then chuckling. Confused, your brows furrowed as you waited for him to speak.

“No offense sweetie but I’ve seen your cleaning skills and I think I’ll take my chances at a hotel,” he laughed. You sat up, looking at him as he stared.

“Omi I’ve been working my butt off to keep my place clean. I do everything you asked and I’ve been keeping in mind the things you taught me,” you said as Kiyoomis face fell. He could tell you were serious.

“YN it’s ok. Cleaning isn’t everyone’s strong suit and it’s obviously not yours,” he replied as you stood up, offended by his words.

“I’m trying my hardest Kiyoomi! I come home, exhausted everyday and I clean. Then, instead of relaxing, I drive over here and spend my nights with you because I know you are more comfortable in your own environment!” You shout as Kiyoomi rolls his eyes m, standing up and walking past you.

“YN you are making a huge deal of this again, we’ve been over this!” He spoke going into the kitchen and plgrabbing his cleaning supplies. You knew he cleaned when he was stress, it wasn’t like his normal routine.

“Omi I’m not trying to-”

“YN just shut up ok?! Just shut up! It’s always something with you! This is always a fight and I’m sick of it! If you were half as good as Becca was at cleaning we’d already be living together!” He growled as you froze, you mouth falling slack as you body went cold. How could he? How could he bring her up? Of everything he could have said, how could he have stooped so low.

You straightened you back, tears filling your eyes as you heart began to crumble, “I’ll never be good enough for you will I Kiyoomi?” Turning on your heels, you grabbed your purse and shoes, walking out the front door.

Leaning on the counter, his anger began to grow, not at you but at himself. He couldn’t believe she had come to his mind, someone he hadn’t thought about in years. Becca had been his high school sweetheart, and he thought she was it. Unfortunately, schedules clashed and his life as a pro-volleyball superstar skyrocketed. He found less and less time for her and she had grown sick of it. Before he knew it, he had come home to an empty apartment, he spare key on the counter with a note that simply rid, “I fell out of love with you.” That was the last Tim he had seen or heard from her again. He figured she’d moved on, found someone who was worthy of her time.

The breakup had broken him in more ways than he carried to admit. He became more reclusive, pulling away from friends and family. He got in the habit of being alone, functioning without someone at his side. That all changed when he met you. You were gorgeous, funny and so outgoing. He immediately found himself attracted to you but he was scared, scare of his heart being broken again, scared he would lose something so precious.

You continued to peruse him, despite his desperate attempts to keep you away. He wanted to be with you, wanted to move on but his fear of being left alone was paralyzing. Finally, he relented and went on a date with you. Soon one turned into two and then three and then six. Your relationship happened effortlessly and he enjoyed every minute of it. He knew he loved you, knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you but he was afraid to make that next step so he kept you at bay with his ridiculous cleaning demands. He knew they were outrageous and over the top but they protected him, they protected his heart.

He stood there, once again in silence as his breathe began to hitch. He had done it again, he had driven the person he lived away. His arms fell to his side as he reached for his phone. He pulled up your contact information and hit the dial button.

The phone rang and rang as you ignored it. You knew Kiyoomi was calling but you couldn’t bare speaking to him, you curled up in your freshly made bed as your tears overwhelmed you. The pain of her name imprinted on your brain as you sobbed.

Kiyoomi had told you about Becca, he had told you why she had left. You knew he was guarded and you were determined to do whatever you could to fix it. You hated how broken he was, how he felt he couldn’t trust anyone. It was a big reason as to why you worked your hardest to live up to his standards, thinking maybe, just maybe, he would let his guard down.

“You’re such an idiot Yn,” you cried as you covered your head up and sobbed deeply.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Atsumu answered as Kiyoomi stood in his kitchen, taking his hand down his face. He had messed up and in a bad way.

“I really fucked update with Yn Sumu. She left and I don’t think she’s coming back,” he murmured into the phone.

“What happened? Did she finally have enough of your bullshit demands?” Atsumu laughed as Kiyoomi sighed.

“We got into a fight because she wanted to me stay with her while my apartment was getting some work done. I thought she was joking but she wasn’t and I kind of threw Becca in her face.”

“You did what??? You asshole!” Atsumu shouted as Kiyoomi pulled the phone away from his ear, “I mean come on dude, YN has been dealing with your bullshit for almost a year now! She does everything you ask of her and all she wants is for you to see that. I think she’s more than shown you she can handle your ridiculous standards dude. Plus she’s probably the most patient woman I’ve ever seen. I mean, literally dealing with you is just as bad as emo Bokuto!”

Kiyoomi didn’t answer because he knew what Atsumu was saying was true. He knew his standards were high and that in a lot of ways, they were just a guard.

“You know she loves you right? She’s not going anywhere Omi. She chased you down for months and she’s stood by you for almost a year, she’s not leaving dude,” Atsumu spoke softly as a tear rolled down kiyoomi’s cheek.

“I think I need to talk to her,” he responded as he heard Atsumu mutter an “mmhmm” before hanging up. He grabbed his keys, locking up before making his way to your apartment.

You groaned as the knocking on your door became obsessive. You had absolutely no intention on answering the door in the state you were in but the person had continued to knock for well over 20 minutes.

With mascara running down your cheeks and you hair in disarray, you made your way to the front door, checking the peephole before opening it.

You saw Kiyooni on the other side, looking visibly upset. Unlocking the door, you swung it open as the smell of cleaning products wafted, hitting his nose smack in the face.

“What do you want?” You growled as Kiyoomi stood there taking you in. You looked like you had been crying, no doubt because of him and his actions. Your face was flush and your hair a complete disaster. Still, you looked absolutely breathtaking to him.

“Can-can I come in?” He questioned, rubbing the back of his head as you turned and headed towards the living room.

“Take your shoes off at least,” you said as Kiyoomi looked around. Your apartment was immaculately kept, everything clean and in its place. Dare he say, it may have even been cleaner than his own place.

Having slipped his shoes off, he headed to the couch. You had sat in the arm chair, indicating you didn’t want to be close to him. He couldn’t really blame you for that.

“I can to apologize Yn. I’m really sorry for everything I said, for how hard I’ve been on you. Honestly, I don’t have an excuse at this point. I’ve been a complete asshole to you. I’ve set my standards and walls so high that I was sure you’d never reach them and every time you did, it kind of freaked me out. I was scared of losing you like I lost her. I was scared of how much I loved you and how much I came to need you in my life. I know you don’t have to forgive me and I don’t expect you too but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am and how much I really do love you.”

Tears fell as you listened to him speak. You knew he was guarded but this was a whole new level. Tears streamed down your cheeks as your eyes met his, “I love you Kiyoomi and all I’ve ever tried to do was show you that. I know how important volleyball is to you and what happened with your ex but I’m not her. I’m not going to to fall out of love with you because your passionate about volleyball.”

Kiyoomi watched you as tears fell, he knew you were being sincere and that you cared for him. He stood up, walking over to you and kneeling in front of you, “YN, I love you and I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I said those things and pushed you away. I’m sorry I ever gave you a chance or agreed to come stay with you. I shouldn’t have compared you to her. There is nothing to compare Yn, I love you so so much more than I ever loved her and I hope you can find it in your heart o forgive me.”

You smiled softly as you hand went to rest on his cheek, whiling a stray tear as it flowed down, “I forgive you Kiyoomi and I love you so much.”

Atsumu

Your relationship with Atsumu was an interesting one. When you first met him, you thought he was rather arrogant and annoying, not usually someone you’d date. However the more you got to know him, the more he grew on you, leading to your now 6 month long relationship. Sure it had its ups and downs but you were so in love with the un-toned blonde setter.

Atsumu and you both had extreme personalities, which was a double edged sword in your relationship. You both were extremely passionate and loving towards each other but when you fought, oh boy was it a show.

You didn’t fight a lot, usually only when things got serious or you got annoyed with his normal stupidity. You both had separate lives, somehow managing to cohesively combine them to fit each other.

Both being workaholics, you struggled sometimes to find time for each other. Atsumu was at the gym for long hours and you were at your office for equally as long but you always made weekly dates and kept your relationship fresh.

This week, it was your turn to plan your weekly date. Unfortunately for you, you’d been not only extremely run down at work but your period had just started and you weren’t feeling the best. You decided that it would be ok to keep it low key for one week since you usually always went all out. You’d order take out and watch a movie, it was simple but you knew the point of date was to spend time with your man.

When Sumu came home, he noticed you in your pajama’s chilling on the couch as you smiled at him. He looked at you, confused as to why you weren’t ready to go out. “Uh babe, we have date night tonight remember?” He said, removing his shoes and setting his bag down. He had been busy at the gym, exhausted from all the extra work he had been putting in. He was looking forward to going out, enjoying the town and spending time with his girl.

“I thought we could switch things up once! I was going to order take out and figured we could rent a movie,” you smiled as his face fell. You looked at him as he stared at you, wondering why his expression had all of a sudden turned sour

“Babe we always go out. I was looking forward to not being at home,” he complained as you stood up, walking over to him. You could tell he was growing agitated but maybe if you explained then he’d be ok.

“Sumu, I’m dead tired and my period came today-”

“Ok so take a midol or something! We can still go out Yn. You aren’t the only one on this relationship you know!?” he shouted as you reeled. What the actual fuck?

“Sumu what the hell?!? I planned a nice night in because I don’t feel well and you tell me to just take some pills and get over it?”

“It honestly sounds like you were just being lazy Yn. It’s not like it takes that much effort to make reservations or put a little makeup on. I mean you do it everyday for your coworkers so you should be able to do it for your boyfriend!” He shouted as you began growing angry.

“Well I’m fucking sorry for having a uterus Sumu! Heaven forbid I ever fucking inconvenience you with my bleeding and exhaustion but oh wait, I forgot, I’m not perfect like you!” You screamed back as he glared.

“You know, Layla never bothered me with shit like this Yn, she knew exactly what I wanted and she never argued with me!” He spat as you stared at him, mouth agape.

How fucking dare he bring her up? Layla, his perfect ex girlfriend who was a model and absolutely drop dead gorgeous. He knew bringing up her was a low blow and he didn’t even care.

“Well then, why don’t you go back to Layla then if I’m such an inconvenience,” you murmured, standing your ground.

“Maybe I will!” He shouted, grabbing his gym bag, slipping his shoes on and walking out the front door.

It took a moment, just a minute to sink in before your whole world came crashing down. Your hands flew to your mouth as you began to shake, tears threatening to spill as you quickly turned and headed to the bedroom.

You cried as you grabbed your overnight bag and began throwing clothes in it. You couldn’t believe he had said that. How could he possibly stoop so low. Of all the people, why did it have to be her? Your chest stung as you leave with the bare minimum, throwing your purse over your shoulder and grabbing your keys as you frantically made your way to the front door.

You had to get out of here, you couldn’t stay here. Not in this place, not surrounded by pictures of the two of you and definitely not as the afterburn of her name hit you. The thought of him seeking her out to comfort him chipped away at your heart, you couldn’t stomach the thought of Atsumu being with her again.

You turned, looking around one last time before leaving. The tears fell, gathering on your clothes and shoes. The heartbreak you were feeling immeasurable.

Groaning, Atsumu sat in his car thinking about the fight over and over again. He was pissed, fuming actually but surprising, it wasn’t at you. He only had himself to be angry at. He knew he overreacted, knew you didn’t deserve the shouting match he started.

He sighed, getting out of his car and knocking on his brothers door. Osamu answered, giving his twin a weird look.

“I thought tonight was date night?”

“YN and I had a fight,” he spoke as Osamu rolled his eyes.

“Of course you did,” he responded moving out of the way, “what happened in paradise now?”

“Well it was suppose to be date night and instead of planning a date, she decided it would be ok for us to just have takeout and watch a movie,” Atsumu reiterated as Samu stared at him.

“Ok and what’s wrong with that?”

“I wanted to go out but she said she wasn’t feeling good, her period or something. So I suggested she take midol-”

“Bro you didn’t?” Samu spoke, eyes widening as Atsumu stared at him.

“I mean, I guess it was kind of rude but dude I want to go out, I want to do stuff!”

“Ok but maybe Yn wasn’t feeling good. Date nights aren’t about going out, it’s about spending time together,” Samu replied.

“Yeah I guess so,” Atsumu said, thinking back to the conversation, “fuck I said something else too. Something kind of mean.”

Osamu looked at him as Atsumu raked his hands through his hair, “what did you say?”

“Fuck- I fuck! I compared her to Layla,” Sumu said, collapsing on his brothers couch.

“You compared Yn, sweet Yn, to that cunt? Dude she was such a fucking bitch and she cheated on you! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Osamu shouted as Atsumu sat down, hands going straight to his hair.

“I know I know man! Fuck I was just so upset about not going out and I- I guess I overreacted.”

“You think? God Sumu you are so stupid! YN is literally the best thing that ever happened to you! Do you realize how fucking annoying you are to deal with? How much YN puts up with? Do you remember when you found out Layla was cheating? God you were the literal worst! Sakusa, heck even Meian, couldn’t handle you!” Atsumu’s hands went down to his knees as he contemplated everything he had been through.

Atsumu had been single for almost a year when he had first laid eyes on you. After Layla had cheated, he had stuck to mostly one night stands. While they weren’t in short supply, he missed the connection of having someone to care for and love.

The first time he saw you was at a bar, dressed in a skin tight outfit he couldn’t remove from his mind. His plans for you started out like all his other plans but immediately changed when you flatly turned him down. He’ll never forget the look you gave him and the giggle followed by the words, “not in your lifetime big guy.” Those words, the look you gave him were definitely what first attracted him to you and after chasing you for months, he finally wore you down enough for a date.

He was utterly broken after his ex had left, crushed by the weight of feeling not good enough. He didn’t want that to ever happen again which is why he kept all potential flings at a distance m, never bringing them to his apartment and never bothering to learn their names, but when you came into his life, that all changed. He learned that he could love again and that not all women were like Layla.

Atsumu stood up, walking to Osamu’s door and exiting. He knew exactly what he needed to do. He needed to grovel at your feet, beg for forgiveness and pray that you’d find it in your amazing heart to forgive him.

Arriving at your shared apartment, he ran upstairs grabbing the door handle and pushing it, only it was locked. His eyes widened as he again pushed on the knob. Why was the door locked? Did you not expect him to come home tonight? The words hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Well then maybe you should go back to Layla!”

“Maybe I will!”

“Shit shit!” He whispered as he quickly grabbed his keys and unlocked the door, pushing in as fast as he could. The apartment was dark and quiet, something he wasn’t use to.

“YN!! YN!! Baby where are you?!”

He searched the entire apartment, frantically looking for any sign of you. He stopped, his breathe hitching as his mind wandered to the worst.

“No no! Please tell me she didn’t!?” He yelled, running to the closet in your bedroom and throwing it open. The blood drained from his face and his eyes began to water as he slowly backed up. Your suitcase was gone, some of your clothes also.

Scrambling quickly, he ran to his phone on the counter and quickly found your number. “Come on baby, pick up!” He whispered.

“Hello?” You answered, somber in tone and sounding like you had been crying.

“Baby? Oh thank god! Where are you? I came home and you were gone, I was so worried!” He sighed, feeling a little relieved that you actually answered his call.

“Why don’t you go back to Layla? I’m sure she can console you!” You spat as Atsumu whinced. Ok, he deserved that, he definitely deserved that.

“Baby, listen I just want to talk ok? I know I fucked up and I’m so sorry Yn. I know I overreacted and I know my words don’t makeup for what I said but I love you Yn. You are the one I want, the one who helped me to trust again. Please Yn, baby come home,” Atsumu sobbed as you sighed.

“I’m sorry Sumu but I’m not going to come home tonight or for a while. What you said was so hurtful and low. You didn’t think of anyone but yourself Sumu. I told you I wasn’t feeling well, that I was exhausted and you told me to take some medicine and suck it up! Then on top of that, you threw her fucking name in my face! You don’t know how fucking much that shattered me Sumu,” you cried, sucking in a breath as Atsumu listened. He knew he fucked up but this was by far the worst he’d ever messed up.

“Princess please, I know- I know I’m a fucking asshole and I should have never ever brought her up, I was mad and I let me anger get the better of me. Just please, please can we talk about this?” He pleaded into the phone, tears running down his cheeks.

“I’ll talk to you later Sumu,” you sighed, hanging up as Atsumu collapsed to his knees, his body shaking as he tried to process everything. You were gone, really gone.

The next morning, your phone rang as you sighed, bracing for another phone call from Atsumu. You picked up the phone, looking at the caller id as your brows furrowed.

“Hello?” You said as Osamu’s voice filled the receiver.

“Hey Yn, uh I’m really sorry to bother you but Sakusa just called me, Atsumu didn’t show up for practice today. I can’t leave the restaurant right now or I’d go check on him but I was wondering if you were with him?”

You breathe stopped, your mind functioning of auto pilot as you raced from your hotel room to your car.

“YN is everything ok?” Osamu said sounding more panicked.

“I- I left Samu! I left him alone! Oh god, Samu I was so hurt by what he said! I got a hotel room and he called me last night. He told me how sorry he was and I told him I needed time! Oh my god what if something happened to him!”

You were sobbing as your tires squealed, your foot hitting the floor as you peeled out of the hotel parking lot. The tears rolled down your face as you heart sped up, your brain automatically going to the worst possible scenario.

“YN calm down ok? I’m sure he’s fine! Please don’t do anything irrational right now,” Sumu spoke, trying to calm you.

You couldn’t answer as you speed to your apartment, parking and throwing open the car door. You left Osamu shouting into your phone as you as you quickly raced to the door.

Ramming into your front door, you threw it open and we’re greeted with Atsumu standing there, staring at you.

“YN what the hell? Are you ok?” he said as you through your body into his, bracing as you sobbed into his chest.

“Osamu called me and said that you didn’t show up to practice! I thought about our conversation last night and oh god Sumu!” You cried into his chest as his arms wrapped around you, holding you close and rubbing your back.

“Baby, hey it’s ok. I’m ok? I texted Meian and told him I needed a day off. I just couldn’t get you off my mind and the thought of even trying to push you out just hurt,” he said, hugging you tight as his eyes began to well with tears.

“Baby I’m so so fucking sorry! I can’t believe I was so selfish. I know I don’t deserve you but YN, I love you more than anything. You are it for me, the only thing I ever want.”

You pulled back, eyes softening as you quickly placed a kiss on Atsumu’s lips, “Sumu what you said was mean and hurtful and you are the biggest jerk ever but I love you so much and the thought of losing you well, it crushed me more than anything.”

“I promise Yn, I’ll be better for you,” he smiled, leaning down and taking your lips once again.

[martialartslover7]

Headcanon time: I feel like, during the Blank Period, we should have had the Daimyos as the new major antagonists, backed by Orochimaru and Kabuto, whom they had struck a deal with, as, ever since Naruto and the Shinobi Alliance managed to put an end to Madara's ambitions, and now that Orochimaru is back, now, they fear for their position, and to keep it that way, they "have no choice anymore, but to strike a deal with the enemy". Because we all know, Naruto is no longer uninformed. Most of what happened to him, along with the likes of Sasuke, Hinata, Neji and Gaara, only happened, because these withered, old fools, enjoy playing god, whenever it suits their convenience. Pretending they are above everyone else, even the Kage, yet doing little to nothing to ensure that the villages stay safe. And the worst part, they knew, they KNEW, that what a scumbag like Danzo was doing, was endangering everyone. So even if they weren't proactively supporting him, they still didn't ask questions, meaning, deep down, they really don't care what happens to their own villages, as long as they stay in power.

Kinda reminds me of real-life politicians. They have no principles, no integrity, they just make empty promises, and never act in the name of the people that voted for them, knowing full well, options are limited. Take that piece of knowledge for what you will.

And yes, I know, by this point in time, after the war, someone like Naruto and Sasuke would be way too strong, making these old farts appear like ants going up against dinosaurs, but here is the thing: This arc is less about raw aggression and fighting, and more based on psychological warfare. Naruto wants to become Hokage, right? Like, what is the driving force behind this story arc, the overarching goal? Simple: Naruto will not accept becoming Hokage in a system, that treated people like him, and Gaara, Kakashi, Might Guy (R.I.P.), Anko (don't @ me, she is buffed to hell in my AU, and has way more screen presence, she deserves it, even now making use of the Snake Sage mode, using Wood Style jutsu, and bearing the Kusanagi sword), Tsunade or Sasuke, like dog water. And this said system, is mostly backed by the Daimyos, the same people who never once thought to stop someone like Danzo from going on his insane ego power trip.

And we also know, Naruto is not type of person to be exactly interested in handling politics in a boring and straight-forward way. He will be leading this revolution, overthrowing the feudal rule, by hosting a "tournament" of sorts, a televised event, which, in their time period, will also livestream online (you cannot tell me, they didn't have internet of some kind there, even though, limited, because of the villages being practically militarized dictatorships, because of the Daimyos), to pit specific shinobi against one another, hoping to both entertain the crowd, to get them on his side (this is also a pro-Naruto political campaign, making the acceptance for his role as Hokage way easier in the long run), and publically humiliate the Daimyos by basically showing off to them: Hey. These people. These proud shinobi. They have made it so far, despite all your restrictions and the scrutiny you put them all through. And they made it big, despite you guys laughing in their faces.

But also, this trip to the Daimyos, will be financed by all the Five Kage, meaning, they can all indulge in some luxurious hotel stays, hot springs, good food, in short, their credit cards will be on fire. And Naruto, Sasuke and Shikamaru get to spend some time alone with their ladies, to some champagne and warm bubble baths, with room service (*Ahem* insert 'Careless Whisper' by George Michael *Ahem*).

C'mon. After all the crap they went through, they deserve some peace and quiet, and if they were going to change the system, they might as well make the most of it, if it's all financed by the village leaders.

And note, the following people will be following Naruto on this journey:

Kakashi

Anko (by this point in time, she and Kakashi are married, and she plays the role of Kakashi's advisor, too)

Sakura

Sasuke (he will be joining up with them in the city)

Rock Lee

Tenten (in my AU, remember, like I have shown in my "Tenten's Untold Backstory" one shot, she is a techwiz in that version of the story, meaning, having a technician with you, and a weapon master, all at the same time, invalueable, and well, I love the idea of Naruto and Tenten being the braindead besties, don't @ me)

Hinata

Shikamaru

Gaara

Temari

Kankuro

Ai

Killer Bee

Kurotsuchi (she came by herself, because she is growing a little exhausted with her grandpa, sorry XD)

Mei

Chojuro

Karin (Naruto and Karin will FINALLY meet and get the chance in learning more about one another, two Uzumaki foxes, flocking their tail as one, yay)

Suigetsu

Jugo

And the battles that Naruto has organized for the PPV, are the following:

- Naruto VS Ai (The Orange Flash VS The Raikage)

- Hinata VS Sasuke (Bankakyo VS Mangekyo)

- Rock Lee VS Gaara (Rematch)

- Tenten VS Killer Bee (Weapon Master Duel)

- Temari VS Chojuro (Fan VS Sword)

- Shikamaru VS Kankuro (Protective Brother VS Sister's BF)

- Sakura VS Kurotsuchi (The ladies, whose punches feel like dynamite)

As you can see, as Movie Shadow would say:

But well, again, because of the Daimyos striking a deal with Orochimaru, things will not go as planned, and pure chaos will break out. Essentially, that snake man will suggest to them, a machine, built from the stolen blue prints that Tenten created (yup, she will be that vital in the story, she is the only one who can stop this machine), that shall spread madness all across the globe, until the entire planet is enveloped in a mist, so deep, humanity will be wiped out completely, succumbing to the madness from within. Following up on the trauma and scars that Madara and Obito have left behind. It's not exactly clear, that part, I still need to flesh out in my mind, but the fact remains, it's meant to be this one final hurdle of a story, until Naruto returns home, and can finally start applying for the ranks of Chunin, Jonin, and at last, the Hokage position, in peace. Giving Anko and Ibiki full clearance to do whatever they want with the arrested Daimyos, for having struck a deal with an S-rank criminal.

And just this once...

...Naruto will be landing in a very miserable situation, where this madness machine affects him the most, out of everyone, even worse than Sasuke, as Kabuto will be pulling a very nasty trick on him. Yup, Naruto is definitely colder in this story, rightfully so, for many reasons. Usually, that's Sasuke's job, but they switch places here, as soon as Orochimaru starts causing trouble.

Peace.

P.S.: Also, for the shipping freaks among all of you, during this entire trip, Mei is flirting with Shino through her phone. Yup. Shino X Mei. Thank the YouTuber @NCHammer23 for giving me this downright MENTAL, but ingenious idea. Shino is a "granny chaser" in my AU. Don't @ me. For context, here is the video, where he explains it all, and trust me, very rarely, do YouTubers win me over, but this one, made me both laugh, but also smile at the end. Shino also deserves some love.

And again, Neji is alive in my AU, so Tenten will be very lovestruck and make a lot of phone calls with him, who decided to stay back at the village, along with the others from the Konoha 12, just in case the Daimyos decide to stab them in the back and attack the villages, while the leaders are out of town.

Note: The part between Shino and Mei starts at about 17:39.

[livesworthlivingau]

Behind the Vale Chapter 19

ISAT, Two Hats, AND SASASAP spoilers this time! oh my! CW: Mental Spirals, very negative self talk.

New fit for Vale! Art by the always incredible @kuro-is-doodlin

[Nille gives an impressed whistle as you do a light flourish, showing off your new outfit once you arrive back at the inn you were staying at. The lightless coat and pants with darkless buttons, wrist cuffs, waist band, and tailoring around right chest section were incredibly elegant, striking in it's simplicity. Your usual gloves and boots complimenting it all perfectly.]

"Fancy, please tell me you didn't blow all our coin on an outfit again though."

"Of course not, Nilly~! That would be preposterous... It was two outfits~." [She simply responds with smacking her palm against her face, grumbling to herself.]

"Alright... looks like we're gonna need to stay here another day to earn some more..."

"Sorryyyy~." [You can't help but tease some, but she knows you'll do your best to earn it back. Her expression doesn't lift though, as if stuck on a thought.]

"Nille?... I-I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I can take care of it tomorrow if you want to rela-"

"Are you still avoiding them, Vale?... Are you prolonging this all on purpose?" [She cuts you off, causing you to freeze, your heart leaping into your throat. You hesitate, bringing your hands up to grip your arms in a bit of a close hug with yourself.]

"... I... I'm sorry Nille, I guess... I just wanted to enjoy this, as long as I could..." [Your words almost surprise yourself. You did your best to not think about the impending meeting, but it seems that subconscious part of you was forcing itself upon your actions. You look to Nille nervously, expecting the worst. Her expression is gentle, worried for you as opposed to angry.]

"Vale, this doesn't have to end. You don't have to leave when we find them... I want you to stick around." [She trying to take your hands in her, but you pull away.]

"I-I... I don't know if I can..." [You choke out, placing a hand over your mouth and trying to stop the tears from falling.]

"Why not Vale? Please, I just want to understa-"

"BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT MINE ANYMORE, OKAY?! THEY'RE HIS! THEY WON'T BE MY FAMILY EVER AGAIN!!" [You scream, quickly covering your mouth again. No no no no no, why did we say that?! What do we do?! She's staring at us, confused, how do we explain that, what can we-.]

"Vale... Just tell me what happened, please? I promise I won't tell anyone, and I promise it won't change what I think of you."

"... I've had both of those promises broken before." [You mumble out, sitting down on you bed and wiping the welling tears from your eyes. You take a deep yet shaky breath, slowly letting it back out.]

"I don't want to lose you Nille..."

"I don't wanna lose you either, Vale." [She responds quickly, coming over to sit beside you, placing a hand on top of one of yours comfortingly. She slowly brings a hand up to your face, the rough, calloused texture gently placed on your cheek, helping wipe some tears away. You suddenly pull away with a gasp, pushing her hand away as memories suddenly flash in your mind.]

[You're brought back to so long ago... the loop you finally managed to defeat the king. The loop just before you finally gave up, when everyone noticed you were acting funny. When everyone comforted you... When Mirabelle touched your face, and realized how much you cared about them... Tears begin to pour from from your eyes.]

"V-Vale?! I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to-" [You fall to your knees, cupping your face and sobbing. We could have kept going! We made progress!! Why did we finally chose to give up when things changed for once?!!? Wh-Why-...]

"Why wasn't I strong enough?..." [Is all you can manage to whimper out through your crying.]

"... Please Vay, I can't help if you don't talk to me..."

"Why do you think you can help me?! Why are you so BLINDING insistent?! Wh-Why-?!.... Why... Why do you think I deserve your kindness? J-Just leave already and join up with your family... leave me behind like I deserve..."

"Alright, fine." [You look up at Nille in shock, she sits there with her arms crossed, a serious look on her face.]

"If you want me gone so bad, and you think I'll leave if I know what happened. Then tell me. Make me leave. Prove to me you don't deserve having me around." [You pause, a flurry of emotions running through you. We can't tell her, we can't let her leave!... but we can't keep lying to her! She doesn't deserve this, and we don't deserve her... We'll never be happy, it won't happen, so why keep trying to fool ourself?... Let's just get this all over with.]

"... Fine... It's not fair I've been parading around like I'm worth anything anyways... You don't deserve to be lied to anymore." [Your face hardens, trying to hold back every emotion you can. You wipe the remnants of your tears once again, getting up to take a seat on the opposite bed from them.]

"I'm not... I wasn't some extra party member journeying with them... I was the Traveler. Siffrin..."

[elliebelliegirl]

okay following up though... i understand that you are jewish and Israeli but (not trying to attack you, just trying to understand) how can you stand with the state of Israel after seeing the numbers of atrocities that the IDF has committed - of course the hostages should be released, but palestine will cease to exist if this continues and this is an active genocide. people are being displaced and thousands have died. how can you in good conscience stand with the actions of Israel ?

im still assuming this is in good faith! i do appreciate that you're asking and not attacking, it's really nice change of pace tbh. please understand that my ethnicity and my political opinions are not the same thing and how i feel about the state of israel is divorced from my religious beliefs. i just also believe that my people have a right to live in our indigenous land. i also believe palestinians should be able to live in israel (many already do.) anyway, here's the deal.

first, im not israeli, but my family is. i was born and raised in the u.s. while most of my family is israeli, i am not (yet.) im an american jew with strong roots in israel.

second! israelis have been displaced since october, since the attacks by hamas, the governing body of gaza. they've been attacked and killed for years (the whole reason the iron dome exists is because missiles are such an active threat.) getting displaced or killed has happened to israelis and gazans. its terrible for everyone. i am human, and therefore uncomfortable with war, but i don't think it's a genocide. i am horrified by the deaths in gaza. i hate that innocents are being harmed. i don't want to add a however, but there's a big one- it's that the ratio of killed militants v.s civilians is unfathomably low. if israel wanted to kill everyone in gaza (which is 100% not the goal) they would be dead already. the war is active now only to eradicate hamas, which would be beneficial to gazans and israelis, and to rescue the hostages. israel has offered to end the war multiple times and hamas has refused.. because they refuse to return the people they kidnapped. the war could've been over months ago!!! months ago. israel did not instigate this war, and has repeatedly offered ceasefire deals. hamas is the one shooting these offers down. also, palestine wont just cease to exist.. im not sure what that part means, can you explain it? i want to understand you, too.

also. i have cousins in the idf. one of them was supposed to come over before last days on sukkot and couldn't make it in the end. over the weekend, october seventh happened. the next time we spoke, it was a phone call right after simchat torah ended. he was on his way to the airport, having been called back to israel to meet his unit in kfar aza and start collecting bodies. i only had a few minutes to tell him i love him and to stay alive on behalf of me and my siblings. the memory is so surreal. we turned on our phones for the first time in days to texts from our israeli family saying they were alive, not to watch the videos, not to look at the pictures. im still kind of stuck there on my couch, holding my siblings in a hug and wondering if someone who hadn't texted yet was dead. then we saw people celebrating the massacre. they haven't really stopped. so we knew we couldnt really count on anyone to protect us, and this was way before israel entered gaza. people were just happy jews were dead. don't know if this is a huge sidetrack, but. this is why i stand with israel. their goal is to keep my family alive. their goal is to keep as many gazans as possible alive. that is not the goal of iran and hamas. this goes further than zionism though, tbh. zionism is pretty simple as a principle 😅

[muffymello]

Night Owl

(Roronoa Zoro x f!Reader)

University AU - A bartender and a barista have a lot in common, except working hours.

1.5k Words

You couldn't help but flop right onto the nearest barstool, much to the amusement of your friends.

It was a long shift at the cafe this morning, rush after rush of students ordering complicated drinks, and on top of it all you had run out of the house coffee beans mid-shift. It was overall hectic, and thinking about it made your head hurt.

You let out a deep breath, trying to relax and join in on the conversation your friends were taking part in, waiting (slightly impatiently) for the busy staff to take your order. Soon enough, a glass with a colourful drink and lime-peel garnish slid in front of you across the bar, prompting your eyes to rise up and meet that of the green-haired bartender who had made it.

"Sorry, I uh- this must be someone else's. I haven't ordered anything yet..."

"Someone bought that for you, looks like you could use it."

Usually someone speaking to you like that would be an insult, but the stress of the day combined with free booze soothed your nerves as you took a sip. Sweeter than what you usually went for, but obviously very strong. Nice. You looked back up to the bartender, who was now making a drink for your friend, to ask him about it.

"Who do I have to thank? And what is this?"

He shrugged his shoulders, quickly replying before flying down the bar to serve another patron. All he gave was some half-assed excuse of being too busy for chit-chat, which got on your nerves just a bit.

No matter, the night was still young, and whoever it was that had bought the drink could reveal themselves if they really wanted to. After that, you bought your own drinks, all from the slightly grumpy green-haired bartender who seemed to be manning your section.

You couldn't lie to yourself, he was quite attractive. The way he worked the crowded place seemed almost memorized, moving robotically and making drinks in an extremely efficient way, albeit less polite than what was usually expected from the profession. When he caught you staring at his arms while shaking a martini, you quickly looked down at your drink again to avoid his cold eyes.

Soon enough, you had drank enough to really loosen up after the hard day. Now you were the centre of attention in your group, making everyone laugh seemed to come easy after a few drinks.

A few of your friends teased you about the secret admirer, but you simply brushed it off. Buying just one drink was no big deal, especially if the reasoning the bartender described was true. Simply a pity drink, courtesy of the bags under your eyes. This had nobody else in the group convinced, still teasing as they all left to dance.

Your sore legs begged you not to join, as did your terrible coordination. You were perfectly content to stay seated at the bar, less busy thanks to majority of the drunk college students taking to the dance floor. You smiled a bit at the sight of the bartenders relaxing a bit after surviving the rush, seeing the same look in their eyes that you had held in your own just earlier that day.

"So, are you free enough to tell me what kind of drink that was- ...?" You searched for a name tag on the bartender's chest, met with nothing but faded old t-shirt to stare at. "Not a drink with a name, really. Just the result of an experiment, was it any good?"

The bartender seemed much more willing to chat once the orders had died down significantly, still not giving his name. "If it isn't a real drink, how did someone order it?" You challenged, leaning onto the bar with a smile. The drink had been quite good, and while you were only looking for the name so you could order another, you weren't the type to turn down a playful remark after a drink or two.

"Nobody ordered it from me." The bartender stated, plain and simple. He turned his back, face unbothered as he hauled a giant, heavy tray of dirty dishes into the back before you had time to ask any more questions. In the time he was gone, you managed to put two and two together that he was the one who had bought that drink.

As you began to blush, taking a second to fix your hair, you wondered his reasoning. He had been so nonchalant about it, you didn't even know his name! Then again, he didn't seem like the type to be buying girls drinks at all. The dumpy bar was affordable for college students, but you were sure they couldn't be paying the student bartenders anything better than minimum wage right now. That doesn't budget into buying drinks for people just because, but before you could think any harder about it he emerged from the back room again, to which you quickly spoke.

"I'd like another of whatever that was, with the lime peel."

"Sure thing."

He didn't even bother to look up. No smile, no flirt, not even a glance. Usually when someone bought you a drink, they had some sort of motive, but this guy just seemed to be focused on what he was doing. While you could respect it as a drink-making employee yourself, it was just... perplexing.

Part of you was slightly disappointed at the lack of attention. Your heart had skipped a beat when you figured out the gesture originally, especially after checking out the bartender before you had even known he was the one behind the gift. When he slid the new drink over, you flashed him a smile of your own.

"I'll cover this one," you joked, taking a sip. This got a small smile, one side of his mouth pulling up, before he looked down again to polish some glasses. Damn.

To hell with being subtle, you thought, asking outright. "Why buy me a drink, then?" At this, he met your gaze. This wasn't a cold look, it could even be mistaken as... soft. Kind.

"Like I said, you looked like you needed it. Tough day?"

While you knew the words really should have pulled some kind of hurt feelings from you, they came off too genuine to be offended by. Instead you went along with his question, giving him the details of your shitty work day and even making him laugh a few times at your overdramatic recount.

By the time your friends returned from the dance floor, his attention had completely moved from his work to fully being invested in you. Still making drinks and cleaning the bar up, but his eyes met yours instead of whatever his hands were doing. He stayed close to where you sat, nodding along as you spoke. Before you could ask for his number or even remember to get his name, your friends had dragged you out to catch the uber with more than enough suggestive teasing about your chit chat with the hot bartender.

In the uber back home, you couldn't help but rest your head in your hands. You had gotten lost in talking, and he seemed so happy to listen. So much so you'd forgotten to get his name or really any information about him at all. The pounding in your head from earlier was back, no longer from the stress of work but at the pathetic lack of charisma you had.

That, along with the opening shift at the cafe the next morning.

You would think that being a barista would get someone into the early-bird mindset, but that was never the case. Shots of espresso had both built your tolerance to the bitter, strong coffee and kept you awake through countless mornings, your coworker the only other lifeline through those 5am shifts.

Today, she was happy to listen to your overtired babbling about the bartender you'd fumbled last night, giggling at your description of the man's green hair and strong, toned arms. You wished you could hate her for how peppy and energetic she could be this early, but the positive attitude had definitely grown on you over the time you'd worked together.

This sentiment was lost, though, when she disappeared into the back room. It was the weekend, which meant less students bombarding the shop to fuel their before-class coffee addiction but still enough people that it was quite the nuisance to run solo.

You grumbled, annoyed at the girl before realizing what she had done. The man waiting at the counter looking confused at the menu was the very same green-haired bartender from last night, looking just as tired as you felt.

Without hesitation you brewed up a latte, pulling out all your little flavouring tricks. Double shot, syrups, even the good cinnamon to dust on top of the perfect milk-froth heart. You approached the register, sliding the cup over to him.

"Someone bought that for you, looks like you could use it."

You grinned, using the very same line from the night before as you saw the recognition cross his features. This time, you had the home base advantage and would not be fumbling this again. "Could I get a name for the order?" You asked, pulling out a sharpie.

"Oh- yeah sure, it's Zoro."

The name burned into your memory, repeating over and over again.

You popped the lid off of the sharpie before scribbling away. What he found while walking out of the shop wasn't his name on the side of the cup, though. It was a phone number, along with a doodled-on heart.

[therossgarden]

Have you ever noticed that ever since season one of What If introduced Captain Carter, she's been showing up a lot more than Sam Wilson as Captain America? I once queationed it, which pissed off some Peggy stans on this site to the point where I had to alter the tags so I wouldn't have to deal with them.

Oh yeah I did, trust me, you’re not the only one. Many Sam or Steve or Bucky stans and, yk, Peggy antis here on tumblr noticed it, but her stans are just too stubborn to accept it.

In my humble opinion, I think Peggy is simply a better character for marvel to sell as cap (and not for the right reasons), which is why Sam’s cap hasn’t appeared in 2/3 years and all of Steve’s appearances were butchered.

Steve is noble, all about freedom and doing what’s right. He was a disabled son of immigrants who knew struggle and, in his own words, didn’t like bullies no matter where they came from, which means that doing what was right to him was more important than any government, any authority. Civil War is all about this characterization of Steve, and it’s why he was the perfect man for the job.

Sam is like Steve. He is a noble man who knew struggle and suffering growing up, who lost loved ones, his place in the world the moment he chose to follow what was right instead of what was ordered to him. He was ridiculed and beaten down, and risked losing it all multiple times, but that never made him back down. Plus, to add fuel to the fire, the higher powers would have never accepted him as Captain America because he’s black, no matter if Captain America himself passed the mantle to him, they wouldn’t have accepted him and still didn’t right up to the finale of TFATWS. Sam is perfect for the job and mirrors Steve as the perfect Captain America of his time.

Peggy is… well, she’s nothing of these things.

Yes, she’s a woman, and so everyone would be expected to find sympathy for her, to root for her, but aside from her stans no one actually does. Peggy has a support system and respect, like it or not, and she was relevant. She’s arrogant, she’s headstrong, and she doesn’t go against the system because she is the system. She’s not a minority, she never knew struggle, hell, she lived a comfortable life up until the war and after. And marvel can use her more than Sam or Steve because she’s not troublesome like them, she’s not going to rebel the system if not for selfish reasons or plot points. She’s not Steve, she’s not Sam, and she shouldn’t be, but at the same time Peggy should not be a Captain that marvel should enforce in their media over and over again.

As Erskine said, “Because the strong man who has known power all his life may lose respect for that power, but a weak man knows the value of strength and knows... compassion.” And while Steve and Sam don’t know strength in the sense that Erskine disregards, Peggy does. And if anything, she resembles John Walker.

Not to mention she is no character of her own, she’s simply the mixture of some characters thrown together in a cauldron, and in addition she’s a Mary Sue. She is a villain masked as hero, one that is convenient as a character and can be thrown from side to side as if she was some Y/N insert in an avengers fanfic.

Not only she has made more appearances than the current Captain America, but she managed to insert herself in the majority of What If…’s storylines, even more than actual main characters. Like, you want to tell me people actually want yet another episode about Peggy or with Peggy being a major character instead of Wanda, Loki or the main six avengers? No one does, not even the stans with a functioning brain. But Marvel will not stop, and whatever chokehold Hayley Atwell has on them will last until she’ll be satisfied with the colonization of all the possible marvel projects.

So ultimately, to answer your question: yes, I did notice Sam is being overshadow by a dusty side character that should have stayed dead back in 2016. You’re not alone, and I’m glad I’m not either. If you scroll on my profile you’ll soon find an old post of mine from last year, during the MoM era, where I was talking about this issue, and a Peggy stan went ballistic and on a rant on how I was using Sam as an excuse to hate on Peggy and justify Stucky. (Btw nice move altering the hashtags, I’ve done it too and it’s been a blessing for me.)

Feel free to check that post and come back in the asks, I’d love to discuss that and maybe share some posts regarding the issue (if I can find them lol)

[greg-montgomery]

what makes hotch so appealing to you?

this is for day 15 of the marchhotchness event by @hotchfiles bc i always want an excuse to rant about why i love aaron hotchner 🫶🏻

to me, aaron = safety & comfort.

he looks like someone who no matter what the problem is he’s gonna deal with it. he’s a “we’ll figure it out together” man. you can count on him!! it just feels like he has all the answers! i’d never be scared if i had him by my side. imagine being loved by this man. it’s just !!!!

i love the “dad of the group” vibe he has. bc once again it’s that protective energy that drives me crazy. and makes me wanna be special to him.

he’s been through so so much. he’s so strong. the woman he loved was murdered and he’ll always feel responsible for that even if it wasn’t his fault. he saw her dead and had to be calm enough to comfort his son - NOT EVEN KNOWING IF HE’D FIND HIM ALIVE!

everything is always falling on him and yet he never complains? he feels like he’s not enough, he has so much on his shoulders but he only talks about it to haley in that dream he had :( “it gets hard. and i’m alone.” and yet he keeps doing his best for jack and for his team.

he’s a sweet and patient dad to jack. carrying a picture of him and haley to his trips, watching videos of him and smiling, kissing him goodnight, making cookies with him, hugging him, helping him with his halloween costumes, visiting his teacher to keep up with how he’s doing at school 🥹

he has the reputation that he’s tough and serious and all that, which like…yeah he is. he’s scary. but to the people he loves? pls let’s see how he is with penelope who is his soft spot. every time he comforted her 🥹 when he stayed with her bc she was sad and they cooked together!! when he told her she’s special and wouldn’t want her to change! when he didn’t get mad at reid for calling him a narcissist and choosing him bc he didn’t look at things selfishly. he could have been offended but his only concern was getting spencer back safe so he knew he was lying. when he was so protective of emily and said “if anything happens to her i will destroy you”. when jj was pregnant and he was so hurt she didn’t tell him :( he’s doing his best to be supportive and protective of them and he still feels like an outsider probably :( when he went to elle’s house to clean the blood off her wall. the tough love he gave to morgan bc he wanted to protect the team and make him leader of the group. he felt responsible for everyone.

and i mentioned this again but he’s lonely :( and lonely characters have my heart. you can have family and friends and still feel lonely sometimes and i think that’s aaron. and i wish i could take that away and never let him feel lonely ever again.

and ofc another thing that makes him appealing to me is that he is the most beautiful man i’ve ever seen in my entire life 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 6)

I think the main thing we were supposed to see as Star's character flaw wasn't that he was acting proud/arrogant/reckless/badass (I mentioned that it's fine for him to act that way because he deserved it after everything good he did and obviously I still mean it 110%), but how that proud, charming guy was never the real him. He literally lost himself trying to feel worthy and please everyone in town. For years he's been acting the role (for a noble cause) but the price was him losing touch with the nerd he is.

Yet STILL, if only everyone had been a bit more gentle with him, I bet he'd have toned it down during the WE section, and even before that. But they all decided to let him know the truth at the worst possible time, right when he was supposed to make Clover his deputy. Right after they attacked the kid because they were jealous. It was supposed to be the PEAK of Starlo's day and they randomly threw the "we never liked any of this" bomb at him instead of trying to talk it out BEFORE things escalated. I'd be pissed too.

Oh yeah...

... his brother doesn't take him seriously apparently and doesn't realize that staying positive and strong 24/7 is tougher than it looks, especially with Starlo's insecurities (and yeah being a farmer is hard work, but so is being in Star's position; on the contrary, it's even TOUGHER) ...

Orion should try being an entertainer for a day and see what it's like, let alone doing it for years

...Solomon says how Star thought him and Crestina didn't support his life choices...

... and how he rarely talks to his family...

...and it suddenly came to me: in all these years, they didn't ever bother telling him that they did support him? They didn't bother trying to reach out to him more? Understand his passion (Ceroba doesn't get it either; once again, I don't blame Starlo for caring about Clover so much, that kid understood)? Have an honest talk?

No wonder Star stopped interacting with them for the most part. Maybe him feeling worthless came from his family? Who knows (or he was bullied as a kid for being a nerd). In any case, he clearly had to deal with these feelings by himself.

This man's been through some stuff.

P.S. I know he has flaws like everyone, but you've gotta ask yourself the important question: WHY? where did all this come from? But clearly nobody in his life ever asked themselves this. So it all kept building up till he almost killed his deputy for... status. He was SO desperate to feel valued and get his friends back (who made him feel less alone.. but ultimately just left when he needed someone the most, at least ONE person) that he was ready to go all the way to achieve what he'd been lacking his entire life: *feeling like he MATTERED.*

I wonder If he'll ever go 100% back to being his true self. Slim chances :'( this is him now. Half farmer half sheriff

[kittythelitter]

Hold Me Like You'll Never Let Me Go

Steddie snippet, angst, CW: self-loathing, CW: negative self talk. Steve POV, post season 4 - everyone lives.

Inspired by John Denver's "Leaving on a Jet Plane" but as performed by one of my favorite camp counselors every year on the last day of camp when I was in elementary and middle school.

Steve would like to think, had he not gotten that voicemail from his mother, that he would've been brave and finally told Eddie how he felt. He had been working up to it, and then. 

Steve had known for a while that he was the kind of definition of the kind of loser with no future who peaked in highschool, but that hadn't mattered so much when he was trying to make sure his kids survived to graduate highschool. His SAT scores didn't matter when it came to dealing with the end of the world. 

But then the world didn't end. Hawkins was in shambles, and his kids were going to survive wherever they each went to highschool, because the upsidedown was gone. But they wouldn't be attending Hawkins High, because it was just a pile of rubble, and all their families were moving far far away. 

What was his purpose, exactly, with his kids scattered and the world saved? 

He could trail after Nancy and Robin to Boston, like the loser he was, clinging to their coattails and dragging them down. He could follow the Hoppers'-Beyers to upstate New York. Follow the Henderson's to wherever Claudia found work. 

His plan, at least until the voicemail, was to stay in the government accomodations in Indianapolis with the Munsons. He and Eddie could, hopefully together, build a life post-apocalypse, find work, maybe move into an apartment together in the same building as Wayne. Maybe they could save up and move out to Boston to be near the girls, or New York or wherever the rest of the kids ended up. But they could build a life together. 

And then. 

---

When Steve's mom offered him a well paying job, a career, doing work he could probably be proud of while going to some fancy night school with the only catch being living with and looking after her aging parents in London, it was an opportunity he couldn't justify turning down. He wouldn't be a loser trailing after his smarter, more successful, wonderful friends. He'd build his own life and then could be someone Henderson and Robin wouldn't be embarrassed to introduce to their cool friends at college. 

His first instinct was to bring Eddie with him, but he knew that Eddie couldn't bear to be an ocean away from Wayne. He also got the impression that the music scene over there was more Jonathan's speed than Eddie's. Plus when he went over there to tell Eddie, Eddie was raving about some band that he'd auditioned for, so he just. Didn't mention his own stuff. And he just. Kept not bringing it up. Which brought him to the morning he was leaving. 

He didn't have much stuff after the sinkhole ate Loch Nora, but what he did have was all packed up and ready to go to London. 

 They tended to hang out at Eddie and Wayne's apartment anyway so it's not like the Munsons would've noticed him packing. 

---

All packed up. All ready to leave. He just. Hadn't told anyone yet. No one but him and the Munsons were still in Indiana, but they kept in close contact anyway. And he hadn't told them.  He stood outside the Munsons' door turning over and over in his head what he was going to say before he had to call the cab to get to the airport. 

It was 10am, so Wayne would be awake but Eddie might not be. How shitty would it be to wake him up just to tell him he was leaving. 

Steve let himself, for just a minute, imagine Eddie kissing him goodbye and promising to see him soon. Imagining Eddie wrapping his surprisingly strong arms around him and holding him here in the States. In Indiana. In Eddie's apartment forever. Like Eddie's arms could keep him from making what might be a huge mistake. Like Eddie could hold on tight enough to come with him. 

But Eddie was building a life here in Indianapolis, and Steve wasn't. Steve had to go. Had to become someone better. Someone who could maybe someday be worthy of the person he could see Eddie becoming. 

Maybe he should just go. Write a letter or call once he was far enough away that Eddie's big beautiful Bambi eyes couldn't change his mind. 

The opportunity to run away was taken, however, when the door swung open. 

"Stevie?" Eddie grinned at him. "I didn't know you were coming by this morning! I'm actually on my way to rehearsal with Last in Initiative! But! I can grab coffee with you on the way if you'd want to?" 

"Oh I don't want to keep you from rolling to initiate or whatever it is you guys do, but I wanted to let you know that I'm going to London to see my grandparents. I wanted to say goodbye before I left." 

Steve knew he was making it sound temporary, but looking into Eddie's beautiful eyes he couldn't bring himself to tell him that he was really leaving. God he was just like his dad. Popping off to Europe without having a return flight planned and not telling Eddie how long he'd be gone. 

Something flitted across Eddie's face too quickly for Steve to parse. 

"Well. Far be it from me to deprive the elderly of your presence, but don't forget me while you're gone, I don't want to be deprived either." Eddie darted in for a hug. Steve begged whatever forces were still out there to let it last forever. But it didn't. Eddie saw his watch, swore and bolted, leaving Steve to consider the Munsons' door once again. Trying to work up the nerve to talk to Wayne. And give him the truth at the very least.

[satureja13]

And while Saiwa, Jack and Ji Ho stay at home, Jeb, Kiyoshi and Vlad went to the Temple to help Arturo. All of them silently agree it's best to keep Kiyoshi away from Jack until he healed. It's a long way to go for Jack. Even though he says he's fine. We all know he isn't. It would even be better if they parted ways. But Other Jeb's message makes this impossible. No one wants to take the risk of some of them getting hurt - let alone be killed.

Vlad joined Team Kiyoshi. Jack is Vlad's best friend and this wasn't an easy decision to make for Vlad - but he and Kiyoshi grew very close at Belgraves Institute. They shared a room and ran their penalty laps at the sports ground. They slept next to Jack's pod when he was in his coma. And in the end Kiyoshi had to betray Vlad to the Council to maintain Kiyoshi's camouflage.

Vlad knows that Ji Ho and Saiwa take good care of Jack and that Kiyoshi is having a hard time now since he became a diety, had been banned from Kojin's Temple and lost Jack. And no one, except for Jeb, knows how to deal with him after they learned that Kiyoshi was Jack's Alpha and fated mate and kind of co-responsible for Jack's misery. And that Kiyoshi had been sent by his father to the Lab to torture captured Jack and Saiwa. And rescued them in the end. It hadn't been easy for Kiyoshi either with all his duties for the temple, the resistance and the council. He didn't hurt Jack on purpose. They just didn't know better and couldn't act better. He can't be mad at Kiyoshi. Maybe it was because they were too young and unexperienced or it just wasn't meant to be - yet. Fate doesn't make mistakes and Vlad is determined to help both of them.

Kiyoshi cared for the saplings of his Tree. And when he touched the little one Jack had lit with some kind of magic, it hit him like a bolt - again. This is a sign. Kiyoshi is sure. As a werewolf, Jack isn't capable of doing such magic. This has to mean something. Jack is his fated mate. Kiyoshi will give Jack all the time he needs to heal - but he will never give up on him. He tried it - for decades while he'd been in the tree - futile.

Mood is gloomy and everyone was working in silence lost in their own thoughts. Vlad thought he could try Jack's puppy strategy to light up the mood a bit. So he started to tell some funny stories of the times they hadn't been all together. Vlad: "... and when Jeb and Ji Ho had already left to do their school project at Mount Komorebi, Jack insisted to put me on my gloves! I had been blind then, but I still was capable to put on my gloves. And then I made fun of him because he wore a fur jacket! A werewolf in a fur jacket! And then Kiyoshi said: 'I like fur'. Somehow I knew that something was going on between you two." Jeb was cutting the planks, had the pencil between his teeth and chuckled. He repeated 'I like fur' because he thought it was so cute and funny of Kiyoshi. But since he had the pencil between his teeth, it was gibberish.

Arturo froze: "What did you just say?"

Jeb, gibberish: "I like fur?"

Arturo: "Gods - it sounds like the last words from the Master! 'I like bird'!"

Jeb: "I think everything sounds the same when you have a pencil in your mouth while speaking ^^'" Arturo: "True hahaha." Little Goat: 'Hello?!'' omg...

After their work at the Temple, they sat down to eat. Arturo: "Vlad, why don't you take a plate and give it a try?" Vlad: "Ah, I'm sorry but I'm a vampire and can't digest food. I get sick if I do and live off of plasma packs and fruit."

Arturo: "I aware of that - but I also feel your strong craving for food. Other vampires just ignore it." Vlad: "Oh I'd been able to ignore it all my live - until... I drank Ji Ho's blood... and when I came back from hell after I died, I started to smell the incredible odors and had a hard time not giving in and try some ever since."

Arturo: "A lot of things changed after you drank mermaid's blood, hm? Why not you digesting food? Give it a try." Vlad: "Uhm - ok..." It smelled so amazing, Vlad thought it was worth getting sick.

And this is how Vlad tried his first food!

And it seems he likes it!

Oh my Arturo was right - Vlad yould have eaten food since he bit Ji Ho September 2022! And even though he knew he'd changed a lot and craved for it, he never tried - because he was afraid and convinced it would make him sick. This sounds trivial but made him think a lot. What else could he have experienced since then and never tried? And how much has Ji Ho changed him? But before he could follow his thoughts any further, it hit him! Hot hot HOT!!! Arturo: "Maybe Burmesan Samosa Soup wasn't a good choice for your first meal ^^'"

But it was. Vlad will never forget this - his first meal. And it will remind him to be bolder and try new things and not hide behind his fears! (Hear, Hear!)

After lunch Arturo went for a walk with them. He has an idea wow they can make up with the others.

And after a hard day's work, they gathered at the fire. Arturo was pondering all afternoon about 'I like bird' and 'I like fur'... (Try it yourself, it really sounds the same!) Arturo: "Kiyoshi - who did you think about before you became one with the tree?" Kiyoshi: "Jack. I've never been able to forget him. Even when I felt nothing else anymore, I still felt him."

Arturo: "I have a weird inkling: maybe your last words weren't 'I like Bird' but 'I like Fur'? Because Jack is a werewolf? Or you thought of that experience with the fur jacket?" Jeb: "When Kiyoshi thought of Jack and not of Saiwa before he left and Saiwa isn't his fated mate but Jack... Gods - I urged Sai into this fake relationship with Kiyoshi to bring him back because we thought Kiyoshi's last thoughts were about Sai... Saiwa will kill us all." (Omg... ö.Ö') And there's no way not to tell him because they all agreed to be honest to each other...

'I know your eyes in the morning sun I feel you touch me in the pouring rain And the moment that you wander far from me I wanna feel you in my arms again And you come to me on a summer breeze Keep me warm in your love, then you softly leave And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love? I really mean to learn 'Cause we're living in a world of fools Breaking us down when they all should let us be We belong to you and me

I believe in you You know the door to my very soul You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour You're my savior when I fall And you may not think I care for you When you know down inside that I really do And it's me you need to show'

How deep is your love? - The Bee Gees

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🛺 'Home happy Home' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 49 ~ Blood runs Thicker than Water

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 4

✧ Word Count : 5.4k

In this chapter ~ Daryl and the others waste no time rushing out of the prison's gates to find the medication that they needed to keep everyone breathing. But things continue to run a bit rocky back in cellblock A as a few fought to stay alive.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ROSE POV ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After Daryl ran off, I finally allowed myself to crumble, letting the tears that were building up slide effortlessly down my cheeks. The last thing I wanted was to break down in front of him, but it hurt to see how upset he was. I found that was just another reason why I dreaded to tell him, because I couldn't handle the look on his face. But yet I would treasure that moment between us like it was the last because for all I knew, it could be. That right there could be the very last time I ever saw him, and it terrified me.

A pair of arms then wrapped around my shoulders, turning my head back to see Glenn holding me close to him as I cried softly. He wordlessly started to pull me back and up the stairs to the cell we were once occupying, gesturing back down to the bed in front of us. I slowly sat down with shaky legs, suddenly feeling very tired as I began to wipe the tears from my face. It felt as though the weight of the world was suddenly on my back and I couldn't help but slump down further on the mattress, feeling emotionally exhausted.

"Wait here a second." he said before swiftly leaving the cell.

A scoffed passed through my lips, "Where else would I go?" I muttered sarcastically to myself.

I steadily readjusted so I was lying flat on my back and facing the ceiling, pulling myself together as much as I could before he came back. Until I started coughing a bit, but on the bright side, I didn't feel the rush of blood coming up from my lungs. Progress. I was still struggling to breathe and I felt clammy and gross, but I was still alive. Even more progress.

I tried to stay positive that I would make it through this, but I just didn't know with how unpredictable this illness could be. Everyone that seemed to be going through it had horrible different symptoms, some lasting longer than others. I just didn't know how long I could hang on considering some people around me were dying out within merely a few hours.

Glenn then trailed back in slowly with two pillows and a blanket under his arm, setting them down on the floor next to the mattress I was laying in. He arranged them to make a little makeshift bed and eventually maneuvered himself on top of it, his eyes glancing up toward the ceiling as well as he let out a tired breath.

My brows furrowed as I sat up a bit on my elbows to stare at him, "What are you doing?"

He glanced over at me and gave me a tired smile, "I don't want you to be alone."

"But you're sick too, you need a real bed. You need to rest." I gently argued.

"I just want to be next to you," he shrugged, "Deal with it."

I laughed quietly, seeming to have no choice but to nod my head in agreement, silently grateful that he was the one by my side during all of this. He always knew how to make me laugh, how to comfort me, how to just be there for me. Even when we both felt like absolute hell.

"I love you." I said suddenly.

He looked back over at me and smiled, "I love you too."

A small smile crept back onto my face as I felt my eyelids become heavy, darkness slowly filling my vision before I drifted off. My body not being able to handle all the different things at once.

I remember tossing and turning a lot. My heart racing and a bead of sweat forming on my brow from how hard I was trying to fight off the illness that took over. My chest felt heavy with every heave of a breath, as if someone had sat themselves down on top of me. It all felt like some kind of vivid dream.

Though I didn't know how much time had ticked by before I suddenly felt the strong urge to cough my lungs out, shooting up to hunch over the side of the bed. So much for trying to get some sleep.

Glenn sat up when he heard me struggling and moved to sit next to me, patting my back gently to try and get all of it out of my system. I gagged and struggled to catch my breath, groaning in disgust before eventually being able to breathe somewhat normally again, trying to take some deep breaths as I felt his hand rubbing softly on the fabric of my shirt.

"You okay?" he asked in concern.

I hummed in response, "Peachy." I rasped as I glanced back up at him with a smile.

I laid back down, but he didn't make any attempt to move back to the floor, so I kicked my legs back up and sprawled them across his lap. The two of us just spaced out mindlessly in the silence as if it was our first time doing drugs, except the experience was something awful. My mind wandered, a small giggle coming from me as I thought.

He perked up, "What?"

My laughter died down and I looked at him, "I'm just thinking...about how sad it is that this is what's going to kill me. I mean imagine dying from a cold, it's pretty pathetic." I laughed again to a point where I coughed a few more times.

He shook his head, "This isn't what's going to kill you. You're not going to die, and neither am I." he said while taking my hand.

"I am," I said seriously and then looked back to him, "I can almost feel it."

"Stop." he said.

"I just think it's stupid," I continued, "I mean, what a way to go. I would've preferred to die by... falling off a cliff, or...in a giant explosion. But not by a cold."

He narrowed his eyes at me, "Have you thought about this before?"

"No, I just pulled those out of my ass," I said honestly, "Being in here in the quiet doesn't exactly help with the overthinking."

He nodded his head, "Yeah no kidding-" he started, but was cut off when he then started to cough pretty badly.

I sat up immediately and patted his back like he'd done for me, growing even more concerned when I was witnessing it versus when it was happening to me. The coughs didn't die down until we both saw the blood trickling across his hand, and it made my eyes go wide. It was a lot.

He turned towards me when they stopped, "I'm okay." he assured breathlessly, cringing as he swallowed thickly, his throat no doubt feeling like sandpaper.

"Neither of us are okay, I think we can stop lying to each other now." I spoke.

He nodded his head, "Okay." he agreed weakly.

I found myself nodding right along with him, leaning on him slightly as we let the silence take over again. Though it was never fully silent. There would always be someone coughing, fighting for their life, or something of the sort only a couple cells away from the one that we shared. The constant noises only scaring us more than we already were. Silently knowing we would both only get worse, maybe to a point of no return.

Both of our heads turned towards the entrance suddenly when someone began to come into view, Hershel stepping inside the room quickly with two cups in his hands. He wordlessly got down to our level and handed the glasses to each of us, pointing as he finally spoke.

"Drink." he said sternly.

I stared at him for a minute as I took what he handed over, noticing the bandana missing from his face, "Where's your mask?"

"Got blood on it, and I don't have another one. Drink." he said again.

I sat up slightly and both Glenn and I started drinking whatever the hell he had made. It tasted bitter, leaving a stinging sensation on my tongue, but if it would make me feel at least a little better, I would drink five cups of it. I finished it quickly in just a few gulps but for Glenn it was a little harder for him to get it down, coughing roughly again as he wasn't able to chug the entire glass.

"This sucks." he muttered, leaning his head back against the wall with a sigh.

I silently agreed as I nodded, "After everything we've been through, this is what wrecks us?" I got slightly irritated at the thought. We had been through hell and back and my stubborn ass wasn't ready to die like this, but I especially didn't want Glenn to die like this. I would put him before me any day.

"Don't say things like that...don't even think things like that." Hershel lightly scolded as he placed a cool wet rag on my forehead, and I sighed at the feeling as I took it from his hands.

"We got this far somehow, you can believe somehow. We all have jobs here, and that one is both of yours." he finished.

We both looked at him with understanding and he grabbed both of our hands to give them a squeeze. I knew he believed that we would push through, I could practically see the hope behind his eyes. His reassurance was something that I could tell we both really needed right about now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* DARYL POV ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was beyond frustrated. We managed to blow through a whole day because we lost our only vehicle in the midst of hundreds of walkers, somehow getting surrounded on our way to the clinic which wasted more time that we didn't have. A part of me was scared that this set back would change everything, worrying me to the point of no return as I feared we wouldn't make it back on time. Though I knew that woman was tougher than nails, her stubborn ass fighting as much as she could. Even if her hope was diminished.

We had managed to find another car since shit hit the fan, but it needed to be fixed up before it could start running again. Though somehow by the grace of God, we managed to find a new battery inside of a nearby building, a rundown auto shop, and I wasted no time as I began working on the piece of shit right away. I moved fast under the hood of the car, barely speaking or thinking anything at all as I worked quickly so we could get back onto the road.

Everyone knew how on edge I was, and they all understood why. But I tried my best not to show how worried I became even if they could already tell. Worrying wouldn't get me there any faster.

"Ya never told us bout the group you were with before." I suddenly spoke to Bob, lighting cigarette that dangled from my mouth, trying to get away from the awkward silence.

His frame leaned against the structure of the building as he waited patiently, watching me work as he scoffed at my comment, "Which one?" he asked.

I didn't open my mouth again as I shrugged, moving back to adjust the wires before hearing him continue anyway, "You know, when you found me out on that road, I almost kept walking."

"Why's that?" I asked absentmindedly.

He sighed, "Cause I was done being a witness. Two times...two different groups. I was the last one standing, like I was supposed to see it happen over and over, like some kind of curse."

This caused me to stop momentarily to actually look at him as he kept talking, "But when it's just you out there with the quiet...used to be I'd drink a bottle of anything just so I could shut my eyes at night. Figured the prison, the people, thought it'd be easier. But the run to the Big Spot... it did it for me."

"Ya gotta keep busy." I muttered while taking a swig of water.

"No. I did it so I could get me a bottle. Of anything. I picked it up, I held it in my hand, but I put it down. I put it down so hard it took the whole damn shelf with it. That's what brought on the walkers. That's what got Zach killed. And that's what almost got your girl crushed."

My eyes snapped back up to him, staring at him in disbelief that he was the reason everything went to shit during that run. He started the whole damn thing. The walkers could've started to fall through at any point, but that wasn't the point. The incident led to us losing one of our people, and it could've cost us even more if we hadn't made it out of there as quick as we did. I grew angry, thinking back to how the whole thing could've been avoided and settled with looking away from him. Knowing if I didn't, I surely wouldn't stop once I started.

He noticed the tense silence that passed over us at his sudden confession, glancing back in paranoia that the others would hear from just a few feet away. I scoffed as I watched him out of the corner of my eye, my jaw clenching slightly.

"Make yerself useful, get in there and try the engine. It's the red and green wire, it ain't rocket science." I spoke lowly, my eyes staying down as I heard him move over to the driver's seat.

My ears perked up as I listened, hearing the vehicle struggle a bit before it eventually started after the second try, feeling a wave of relief wash over me now that we had an actual ride. I whistled twice to get Michonne and Tyreese's attention so we could finally get going, watching as they quickly stood and headed towards the running car.

Though I could feel Bob's eyes on me, expecting me to almost say something to him about what he had just admitted. The thing that took a lot for him to say out loud to me.

I sighed heavily as I glanced back down to him, "Ya couldn't have known what was gonna go down. But that don't make the situation any less fucked up. And it definitely don't mean m' just gonna somehow forget about this whole conversation."

He slowly nodded in understanding, looking back down to the ground as he moved to let me be the one to take the wheel. The second the last person shut their door, I pressed firmly on the gas and took off down the long road. Attempting to somehow get there faster, even though I knew it would be hours before we got back to the prison.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ROSE POV ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Time was ticking by impossibly slow, yet everything seemed to be happening so fast as an entire day seemed to pass and there was still no sign of Daryl and the others. I began to feel even worse than before; my muscles ached and my eyelids were constantly heavy, while the blood I constantly coughed up never seemed to die down. I was up for most of the night throwing it up in a bucket that was placed beside my bed. The fever was like hell fire on my head, but Hershel's herb tea did help at least a little. But even with all of that happening, I was more worried about Daryl than I was about myself.

Anything could've happened to him out there and when he didn't come back as quickly as he said he would, I couldn't help but worry. If I knew my man at all, I knew he was far from fucking around when it came to this. Imagining him flying down streets and shoving whatever medication he could into varies of bags to bring back to the rest of us. But that wasn't the case this time. It had been far too long, and I couldn't bear to think about the different possibilities. Though Glenn and Hershel both tried to reassure me that everything was fine and it was probably only just a minor bump in the road, I hardly believed them at all.

My tired bloodshot eyes scanned through the pages of my book that Hershel had offered to grab for me, giving me something to do for the long and painful hours I was trapped in here. I was somewhat enjoying the quiet as Glenn had been off talking to Maggie, speaking through the large window in order to keep a safe distance from one another. I knew she had to be worried sick about him.

Though I found myself getting antsy about how everyone else was doing. Maggie, Beth, Carl, Judith, I was even worried about Rick even though we haven't talked since the whole Tyreese incident happened. I only hoped I would be able to see all of them again soon enough, and not through a thick slice of glass.

An echoed knock was heard from outside my room, making my eyes glance up to see Glenn standing in the doorway looking a little paler, yet still managed a small smile, "Maggie said she wants to see you too." he said.

I nodded and slowly stood up, gritting my teeth when I did so as my legs felt like they were about to give out from under me, "Do you want help?" he asked softly.

"No," I breathed, "I'm okay."

He nodded, slightly moving out of the way so I could make my way out to see her. I gripped onto every wall and railing like it was a lifeline, not trusting myself enough to be able to stand upright on my own as I slowly but surely made it toward the window. I was excited at the opportunity to see her, knowing that just a little more human interaction would lift my spirits a bit more.

When I finally got closer to the glass, I could clearly see how nervous she was, and when her eyes finally landed on me, she let out a small gasp at my appearance. Lord only knew how terrible I truly looked.

"Hey, babe." she greeted softly, her eyes following me as I sat down on the nearby chair.

I mustered a small smile, "Hi,-" I tried to speak but all it did was cause another cough attack, seeing her cringe out of the corner of my eye upon seeing me like this.

She sighed softly as my breathing began to regulate again, "You're getting worse." she stated worriedly.

I waved her off, "Eh, I'm still standing...well...not right now," I gestured towards the chair, "But you get the point." I tried to joke.

She shook her head with a small scoff at my words, "Somehow I knew you would try and make a joke out of this." she lightly scolded, "God...I've been so worried about you."

"The feeling's mutual." I said honestly.

She scoffed, "Honey, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me...not while you're in here fighting this. It was like pulling teeth to get Beth to stay back in quarantine instead of coming out here to see you."

I couldn't help but smile, "How's she doing?"

"Worried just as much as I am." she stated like it was a fact, "Everyone around here misses you a whole lot you know." she smiled sadly.

I let out a soft breath, "Believe me...I miss you guys too. How are they? Everyone else?"

"Carl's just fine; he's been helping out as much as he can around here, my guess is to try and keep his mind off of everything. Judith has been staying with Beth in one of the offices, trying to keep as far away from everyone as possible. And um...Rick just took Carol out on a run to get some more food for cellblock D." she listed.

"Hm...seems like everyone's been busy." I replied.

"Yeah," she nodded, "Anything to help out, and...not think too much about what's been going on." she spoke before pausing hesitantly. I could almost read the question on her face, smiling a little to myself as I answered her without her uttering another word.

"He's okay." I promised, referring to Hershel whom she hadn't seen in what felt like forever. "He's tough...been busting his ass to make sure everyone's comfortable around here."

She nodded, "I'm glad. I just...I wish he wasn't putting himself at risk like this, you know? But he's always been one for helping anyone and everyone. And I know you guys need him now more than ever, but..." she trailed off, letting out a soft sigh of frustration.

My eyes saddened, "It's okay to feel like that." I immediately reassured, "He's your dad. You don't want him risking his life like this...that's completely valid. You don't have to feel bad for saying something like that."

A small smile crossed her face, "Thank you." she whispered.

I nodded in return, a brief silence passing over us before a female voice suddenly called her name from just down the hall, causing her to snap out of her thoughts. "I gotta head back to check on the kids. But I'll be back soon to check on you again, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that." I said with a small smile, beginning to stand again to walk away from the glass, but then a voice stopped me in my tracks the moment my back was turned.

"Rose," I heard Rick call out, glancing over my shoulder to see him walking in just as Maggie was walking out.

Her eyebrows raised as she gave me a certain look that read good luck, before fully leaving the space. I wanted to reach my hands out dramatically to get her to stay, but she was already gone in only a split second, wanting to give us some time alone.

The man hesitantly walked up closer to the window separating us, causing me to reluctantly move back over and slowly take a seat again in the chair. It surprised me how much getting up once and then sitting back down took out of me, but I felt dizzy like I was going to pass out, trying to get my eyes to focus on his figure.

"Hey." I mumbled quietly.

"Hey," he replied, awkwardly tapping his legs as he was looking for the right words, "I, uh...I came in here to talk to you about some stuff. But um...I think I owe you a little something first before anything."

I nodded and waited for him to go on, though I didn't miss how ashamed he looked. Like it was painful for him to look me in the eye. "I'm so sorry about what happened between you and me the other day. I don't know what got into me, but...I didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late. I just...I hope this isn't going to mess anything up, that's the last thing I want. And I hope you can forgive me.

"I do." I said without any hesitation.

His head seemed to snap up in a split second, "Really?" he asked softly.

I simply shrugged, "Yeah. I mean if I'm going to die in here, I might as well have a clean conscious right? Don't want to hold any grudges." I laughed, the action causing a rough cough to erupt from my lungs until a trickle of blood spilled from my mouth.

I spit the dark liquid onto the ground, deeply clearing my throat before looking back up to see Rick standing there with huge eyes, his mouth hanging open at what he had just witnessed.

"Careful, you might drool if you keep your mouth hanging open like that." I joked with a light chuckle.

He closed his mouth instantly, letting out a huff of laughter. I couldn't tell if it was in disbelief of the fact that I was still making jokes at a dark time like this. But my guess was probably both. "How're you doing?"

I hummed as I tried to hold back my annoyance, "If I had a dollar for everyone who asked me that dumb question, I could probably find the damn cure myself." I said sarcastically, "I'm not okay...I'm dying. Blood is pouring out of my mouth constantly and my fever doesn't seem to want to go down. I'm a goddamn mess...but I'm still alive."

His brows furrowed in genuine concern as he placed one of his hands onto the glass, "I'm- I'm so sorry, Rosie." he whispered sincerely.

"It's okay...no need to apologize. Especially for something you can't control." I said, watching him nod in return as he then bit his lip somewhat nervously. "So...what exactly did you want to talk to me about?" I asked curiously.

He stopped moving completely as if I had read his mind, thinking over his next words very carefully before just coming out and saying it, "Carol killed Karen and David." he spit out bluntly, though there was really no other way to say it.

I hummed in response and nodded my head, to which his eyes widened at my lack of reaction, "Did you not hear me?"

"I knew it was her." I said simply.

His eyes only grew wider as he stuttered, "H-How?"

"I saw how she reacted when Ty found out; guilt was written all over her face. Then on my way out after...our little fight, I saw the bloody handprint she left behind on the doorframe. I was a cop, not a detective, but I picked up a few things and I'm good at reading people, especially people I know well." 

Though the man looked at me with nothing but disbelief, what I said was nothing but the truth. I knew what she was guilty of, and to be quite frank, I didn't tell anyone her secret for a reason. Not because I agreed with her outlook, but because I knew what these people would do if they found out the truth.

"So...what'd you do when you found out?" I asked after a few beats of silence.

He sighed heavily as he placed his hands on his hips, "I sent her out on her own with some supplies, told her not to come back. I can understand what she was trying to do, but it was the wrong call. And we can't have that here; that's what I told her. I know she'll be okay though...she's tough."

I nodded in understanding, but that didn't stop the ping of sadness I felt in the pit of my stomach at the sudden news. I cared deeply about Carol; she had always been such a great person in the tight knit group we shared. She was trying to help us, save us, but I knew what she did was wrong and there was really no excuse for it. I just hoped she would be okay on her own, holding onto that little bit of hope that we would see her again someday.

"Do you think I did the right thing?" he asked suddenly.

I pressed my lips together with a sigh as I thought for a long moment, "I don't know." I admitted quietly, "She's been with us for a long time, since this all started. But at the same time what she did wasn't okay. So, I don't know."

He nodded, "I just figured you should be the first person to know. I trust you more than anyone else here..." he stated, pausing for a moment as he looked at me with a tilt of his head, "I miss you, you know."

I smiled small, "Yeah...I miss you too."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* DARYL POV ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I tried to keep my breathing steady as we were close to getting trampled by a large group of walkers. We had managed to get all the meds we needed that were on the list and were now one step closer to making it back to the prison. But then the dead seemed to catch up to us, coming from everywhere as we tried to escape the building.

We were running out of options, not knowing where else to turn to as our eyes scanned desperately for some kind of out. That is until Tyreese decided to break through the closest window, looking down to see a platform we could use to cut through the number of walkers swarming around the property. I helped Michonne out first and then Ty, before grabbing my bags and heading out next with Bob right on my tail. The remaining dead ones pounding on the door behind us that we somehow managed to block off to save our asses in time.

The four of us all managed to make it out, but when Bob threw himself out the window in a panic, he landed directly on his stomach and almost fell off right into the herd of walkers below. He had his bag dangling from the edge and all the dead ones went to grab it and try to tear it from his grasp. I thought that he would just let the bag go instead of risking his life, but I was wrong.

He held onto that bag like his life depended on it. The three of us stood back as we waited for him to quit fucking around, yelling at him to just let it go, but he ignored all of us, trying to pull it back up with all the remaining strength he had left.

Finally, after what felt like years, he got it out of their grip harshly and the bag flew back onto the surface with a thump. But it sounded lighter than the rest of the bags that we were carrying on our backs, glass clinking around instead of the familiar sound of meds. My brow furrowed as I made my way over to see what was so damn important, and my blood started to boil when I caught a glimpse of what was inside. The man only had a single bottle of whiskey at the bottom, all of us coming to the realization why he risked his goddamn life for it.

I held it up, "Ya got no meds in your bag? Just this?" I asked.

He couldn't meet my gaze, knowing that he was in the wrong for what he did as I scoffed at him with a glare, "Ya shoulda kept walkin that day." I muttered bitterly.

When he still didn't gaze up at me, I didn't hesitate to raise the bottle up to throw it off the roof in a fit of frustration. But that's when he finally spoke up, stopping my movements.

"Don't." he spoke in an oddly calm tone. I looked over my shoulder at the sound of his voice, seeing he had his hand over his gun that was in the holster on his belt, ready to shoot me over a fucking bottle of whiskey.

I wasn't intimidated at all as I tilted my head in his direction, walking right up to him to get in his face, silently daring him to do it. Daring him to try. But he didn't, he couldn't even look at me anymore even though my presence was hard to miss. Eventually I reached down to take his gun out of his holster so he couldn't threaten me again and grabbed him by his shirt, ready to beat the shit out of him.

"Just let it go Daryl," Tyreese spoke suddenly, "The man's made his choice, nothing you can do about it. Just gotta let it go."

His voice echoed in my mind for a moment, finally letting him go again though I didn't back off completely, "I didn't want to hurt nobody," he spoke hesitantly, "It was just for when it gets quiet."

He still couldn't push himself to look me in the eye, so I took the bottle and shoved it to his chest harshly, not letting it go yet as I spoke lowly to him, "Ya take one sip, before those meds get in my wife...I will beat your ass into the ground," I shoved him again, "Ya hear me?"

He took the bottle from my hands without saying a word, but I was done wasting time. I turned around and grabbed my bags from where I had dropped them, and the rest wordlessly followed me back to the car so we could finally get back home. I felt my hands shaking in anger as I shoved everything into the small trunk, but I tried to push it all aside to rush back to her as fast as I could.

It was tense and dead silent in the car as I raced back. No one knew what to say and I could tell Michonne and Ty were just as pissed at Bob as I was. The fact that he came with us again just to get a bottle for himself and not because our people were dropping like flies, it rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe I did make a mistake with bringing him back here, but I couldn't think about that right now. Now that we had the meds, I grew just a little more hopeful. Needing to see she was still okay.

~ Thanks for reading!

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